Posted on by castleberryhearts · 4 Comments

Texas Heart – Part 22

10 days.
10 days was the amount of time Grant and I had spent together before we had vowed to spend the rest of our lives with each other. 
11 days if you count the day that we met in high school. Which you probably shouldn’t count because we barely said two words to one another and I thought Grant looked like a cowboy.
Which he kind of is, I guess. Minus the hat. Though he does have one.
16 days. 
16 days was the amount of time we had actually spent together after our engagement. That’s including the 10 days before our engagement.
Yeah, it wasn’t a lot of time. 

Even though we had spent months talking over the phone and video, when I thought about the actual amount of time that we’d spent together in person, it made me nervous. 
I was about to spend every day of the rest of my life married to a man with whom I’d only spent 16 days! That’s just barely over two weeks! 
In my mind, it wasn’t ideal. In most people’s minds it’s probably not ideal. 

But it didn’t bother Grant. Grant is not most people.
Grant’s next scheduled trip to America was August 20th, two days, two days before our wedding day! I wanted him to come earlier so that we could have some time together before everyone came into town and things got busy, but Grant didn’t want to take “leave” before the wedding. He wanted to use as much of his vacation time as possible for our honeymoon.
I understood that. But spending time together before our wedding was also important to me.
But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. It was something else to trust the Lord about. Sigh.
A week or so after I found my wedding dress, I received a call from Grant.
“GraceAnna, guess what?”
“What?”
“The Marine Corps is sending me to the States for an Exercise!” (“Exercise” is Marine lingo for a “Mission,” and I guess “Mission” is Marine lingo for a short job? Sorry, I’m still not the greatest at explaining these things).
“You are kidding me!!!! Oh my goodness!” I exclaimed way too loudly – the way Southerners do – then I looked around to be sure no one noticed.  “Um, where?”
“Alaska.”
“Alaska?“ Alaska? I repeated to myself. Weren’t there wild bears and ferocious animals and lots of empty land where people become lost and confused and died? No wonder they were conducting an “Exercise” there and they needed Marines.
My heart sank. Alaska might as well be a different country. Any hopes of seeing Grant before our wedding began to fade. There was no way I’d be making a trip to Alaska.
“GraceAnna, will you come out and see me? I’ll pay for your ticket and everything.”
“Well, I mean, I’d love to, but how would that work out logistically? Where would I stay?”
“There’s a family that lives in Alaska who are friends of some of my parents’ best friends. I was thinking about calling them and asking them if you could stay there if you want to come!”
I could hear the unbelievable excitement in Grant’s voice. There wasn’t a hint of doubt or hesitation. To him, I was already coming to Alaska. Even though he hadn’t even spoken with these “friends of friends.”
“Grant, I would love to come . . . I just don’t know.”  I was hesitant. I really did want to come.  But to me, it just seemed like there were so many details to work out. Details that would be difficult to work out. 
How would we get around? Would this Alaskan family really be okay with me staying there? I imagined staying in a cabin out in the wilderness with the heads of dead animals in my bedroom. And on top of all that, what would I do while Grant was working?
“GraceAnna, talk to your parents about it. I think it would be a blast. Alaska is America’s last unchartered frontier! All the details will work themselves out. I’ll contact this family, okay?”
I didn’t know it at the time, but this conversation represented many that would take place in our future marriage. I sometimes over-analyze and over-think situations, where Grant mostly just believes that everything will work out. We need each other.
“Okay,” I said as I hung up the phone. I was excited. But I knew in my heart that it would never work out.
“Hey Dad,” I asked later that day, “What would you think of me going to visit Grant in Alaska in two weeks?” I explained the whole “Exercise” situation and the wilderness family with whom I would stay. 

Of course, I knew what he would say. I knew he would tell me that I shouldn’t go. I knew he would say that it was too far away, too expensive, and too sketchy-sounding, though my dad would never use the word “sketchy.”
“I think you should go. Alaska is America’s last unchartered frontier.”
I was shocked.  Did he really just say I could go? And did he really just say “America’s last unchartered frontier?”
————————————
I stared out the airplane window at miles and miles of ice-capped mountains. Hmm. . . it definitely looked like unchartered frontier.
I wasn’t in South Carolina anymore.
But I knew I was going to have to get used to that.
to be continued . . .
Posted on by castleberryhearts · 2 Comments

Texas Heart – Part 21


“Oh, GraceAnna…” my mom whispered as we stood in the small dress shop in Charleston.


We had just walked in the door and we were both staring at a beautiful wedding dress that was displayed in the center of the store.

“It’s beautiful,” my mom continued as she walked toward the dress. 

I stood there for a moment, unable to move. I couldn’t believe the dress that was before my eyes. It was exactly what I wanted. It was exactly what I had dreamed.

My mom’s words from just an hour before echoed in my mind, “Let’s pray that if God has a different dress for you, He would just put it right in front of us.”

But this was honestly too good to be true. 

The dress must be extremely expensive, I thought. It must be way too expensive. God couldn’t have answered our specific prayer like that! He couldn’t have done it so quickly either, I mean, could He?

I stood there, unbelieving, trying to convince myself that this just wasn’t real.

I stepped toward the wedding dress, half expecting it to vanish as I got closer.

I touched the feminine ruffle collar and admired the simple silhouette of the dress. 

It was simple, different, and elegant. It was me.

As I stood there in awe, completely in my own world, I faintly heard my mom in the background ask the sales woman “How much?“

I heard the woman give a one digit answer to which my mom replied, “Thousand?”

Please don’t let her say thousand.

“No, hundred,” the woman responded, “That’s the base price, then depending on how you customize…”

My heart jumped when I heard her answer. It was not only my dream dress, but I couldn’t believe it, it was less than half the price of the other dress I had ordered.

“Can I try it on?” I asked, looking toward my mom and the sales woman, knowing in my heart that this would be my wedding dress. Knowing without a doubt that God had heard my prayer.
And absolutely knowing, without a doubt, that I would love it.

“Yes, of course,” the sales woman replied as she began to take it off the display.

Within minutes, I was standing in front of the full-length mirror in the dressing room. I stepped out for my mom to see.

“Oh, GraceAnna…” my mom said again. 

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as the words of Matthew 6 reverberated in my mind:

“. . .And why are you worried about clothing? . . . 

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing? 

 

For the Gentiles {the world} eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 

 

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”


I stared in awe at the dress that God had provided. Why had I ever worried?

This was the dress I would wear on the day I changed my last name from Broggi to Castleberry. 

I thought about all the times I had dreamed of this day.

I thought about all the times I had prayed for God to bring me a godly guy, wondering if getting married would ever be a reality for me.

I thought about the times that my heart had been broken over relationships that had ended or that didn’t materialize at all.

I thought about the times I had cried on the phone to my mom after being hurt and my mom saying, “GraceAnna, God obviously has something different for you. Something that will be better for you. You have to believe that.” I had to clung to those words.

I thought about those times when I felt God saying, “no”  to things that I wanted to work out.

I thought about the times when I wondered if my prayers were just hitting the ceiling.

I thought about how I had hoped that one day I would be able to give myself as a pure bride for my husband.

I thought about the first time I heard Grant’s voice over the phone.

I knew that God was doing something, something that I hadn’t expected. He was answering my prayers.

He had seen. He had heard.

And now, here I was, with a white dress on that symbolized not only God’s gift of a husband for me, but God showing me once again that He is near to His children who call on Him.

I closed my eyes and whispered the only words I could think to say, “Thank you Lord, thank you.“

—————————————

My cell phone rang. It was over an hour later and my mom and I were stepping out of the dress shop.

“Hi, GraceAnna!“ Grant exclaimed over the phone.

“Hi Grant, good morning!“ I knew Grant was getting up early to go to work in Japan.

“Wow, you sound excited? What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing you should or can know about,” I replied smiling as I stood on the street curb.

“Come on, GraceAnna? What?”

“Seriously, I can’t tell you. But I will one day.”

“Okay, well I just wanted to call and tell you I love you before heading to work.”

I hung up the phone and smiled. I had two wedding dresses now.  I could be like one of those brides that changes her dress half-way through the wedding day. 

Of course, I was sending the other dress back. But it was funny to think that I had wanted to keep things simple, and now I had two dresses.

I smiled again when I thought about Grant. This was all real. I had the perfect dress to wear on my wedding day. I just knew Grant was going to love it.



to be continued…

Posted on by castleberryhearts · 2 Comments

Texas Heart – Part 20

I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my parents’ bedroom staring at my reflection. I was wearing a long dress. Not just any dress, it was the dress I had ordered to wear on my wedding day.

It was absolutely beautiful, but something didn’t seem quite right.

“What’s wrong?” my mom asked, “Don’t you like it?”

“Yes, I like it. . . I mean, it’s gorgeous. . . but . . .” and I paused trying to form my next words.

I didn’t really know what my hesitation or my thoughts were. It was a gorgeous gown. The fabric was Italian silk gazar and it had custom embroidered bands of floral applique on the bodice.

I thought the delicate applique gave the dress a vintage look, which I loved.

When it arrived and I stared at in the box, it took my breath away. I thought it was perfect.  But when I tried it on in front of the full-length mirror, something wasn’t right.

It didn’t fit me like I had thought it would. It just didn’t seem like what I had imagined I would wear on my wedding day.

I kind of knew what I wanted, but I didn’t know where to find it. I imagined a dress that was slubbed-silk, that had maybe a v-neck or off the shoulder sleeves with a gentle ruffle. I had seen a dress like that on a movie once and had loved it. I didn’t really want anything with beads or bling.

I had ordered the gown from an online store because I was short on time. Grant and I would be getting married in just a few months, so I didn’t have a lot of time to dress shop.

Plus, I really didn’t have a desire to go try on a ton of gowns.

I know, that sounds kind of weird, but shopping for a wedding dress overwhelmed me a little bit.

Sometimes I can be very indecisive about the simplest of decisions. So, the thought of going to a bridal store where there were hundreds of dresses that cost hundreds of dollars just seemed daunting.

I knew I wanted a dress that was simple, different, yet very elegant.

And of course I wanted a dress that made me look beautiful on my wedding day – of course! But I also wanted to make sure the dress that I wore honored the God who had brought me the man with whom I would spend the rest of my life.

I wanted the focus of our wedding to be Christ, for people to feel blessed and encouraged and for them to say more about the meaning of the worship service and the vows spoken, rather than asking, “Did you see her dress?”

I think that was another reason that I didn’t want to try on a ton of dresses. I was almost worried that I would get distracted from what our wedding was really about. After all, I had seen “Say Yes to the Dress” and the countless girls who leave the bridal store spending way more than they had planned.

But as I stood in front of the mirror that day, I was feeling like I was forcing myself to say yes to the dress. I felt like I should absolutely love the dress.  I wanted to be as beautiful as possible for Grant on our wedding day.

Though I didn’t understand why, I knew I didn’t love it on me.

“I do love it,” I told my mom, trying to convince myself that I was telling the truth, “I really do. It’ll be great.”

—————————————–

A few days later, my mom and I drove to Charleston to go shopping for a bridal veil and shoes. I had decided to keep the wedding dress and I just kept telling myself that it was the right one.

As I stared out at the marsh grass that runs alongside Highway 17, I finally blurted to my mom, “There’s just something about the dress. I don’t know what it is. It just doesn’t seem right.  I don’t know if I’m just being indecisive because it’s such a big day and everyone always makes a big deal over the wedding dress. Maybe I’m just falling into that typical desire to want ‘the best.'”

“Well, GraceAnna, here’s the thing, it is the only dress that you’ve tried on,” my mom began,  “It could be that if you tried on other dresses, you would know for sure.  Or, you could find something else that you like better. But, the point is, we don’t have a lot of time. You are getting married in just a few months.”

“I know.”

“God led you to that dress and allowed you to order it, and your dad and I want to buy it for you. It is beautiful.”

“I know” I said again, starting to feel like the spoiled American girl that I am.

“However, you know that God cares about the dress that you wear on your wedding day. And your dad and I certainly want you to love your dress. Remember Matthew 6?” My mom then began to quote the words that I also had memorized:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

The passage brought perspective and refreshment to my heart as those words always have. It wasn’t the first time my mom had quoted it to me, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

“We just need to pray about it,” my mom continued. “Let’s pray that if God wants you to wear another dress, that it would literally ‘fall out of heaven’.” Let’s pray that we won’t have to go look through hundreds of dresses, but that if God has another dress for you, He would just put it right in front of us so that we wouldn’t have any doubts about it. In fact, let’s go ahead and pray right now.”

We bowed our heads on Hwy 17 and prayed about my wedding dress. Well I bowed my head, thankfully mom didn’t since she was driving.

I might have doubted that God could even care about something so insignificant had my parents not taught me to pray about everything since I was a young girl.

When I was 12 years old, I took piano lessons. The problem was, we didn’t own a piano for me to practice on during the week. Because of this, I had to either go to the church to practice on a piano there, or practice on my little electronic keyboard.

I had been taking lessons for several years and I wasn’t really progressing because of the practicing problem. In my mind, I needed to quit taking lessons if we weren’t able to purchase a piano, because my dad was just wasting money on the lessons.

One evening, while I was riding my bike with my mom while she ran in the neighborhood, I explained my dilemma to her.

“GraceAnna, have you asked God for a piano?” She asked.

“Well no, I haven’t” I responded honestly.

She started quoting Matthew 6 and then said, “Let’s ask God for a piano.”

“Okay, I’ll just pray that we could find some old piano that someone doesn’t want or need anymore.”

“Is that the kind of piano that you want?” Mom asked.

“Well, I mean, all I need is a piano, it doesn’t matter what I want, plus I’m not going to ask God to give me something nice.”

“Why? Don’t you think God is able to give you something nice?”

“Of course He can,” I said slowly, realizing where this was going.

“If you are going to ask God to give you a piano, why not ask him for a beautiful one? If God chooses to give you an old one, or none at all, then you need to be content in that. But ‘you have not because you ask not’.”

“Okay, I will then.”

So that evening as I rode my pink bike in the darkening light, I prayed not just for any piano, but a beautiful piano.

“Hey GraceAnna,” my mom said a few minutes later, “Let’s pray that the Lord would answer our prayer by Christmas. If He doesn’t give you a piano by then, let’s assume that it’s time for you to quit taking lessons, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And I want you to do two things.  One, I want you to write today’s date and our request in your journal. And second, I don’t want you to tell anyone about our prayer. No one.  This is between you and me and God.  Sometimes no one needs to know except the Lord.”

As September faded into October and October brought on November, there was no sign of a piano.  Not even a hint.

One day, I said to my mom, “It’s almost Christmas,” knowing that she would know what I meant.

“But it’s not Christmas yet,” she replied.

A few days before Christmas, we were all in the kitchen eating lunch after church when my dad received a phone call.

“Who was that?” my mom asked my dad.

“Oh that was Ron and he told me about a piano over at a church.  They want to sell it. Ron says its really nice.  It’s an antique Baby Grand that has been restored.  The church is getting a new one and they need to sell this one by Christmas.”

My dad had no idea what we had prayed. Ron had no idea what we had prayed.

One afternoon a few days later, my parents went to take a look at it. I wasn’t there, but my mom called me, “GraceAnna, you will not believe it, the piano is absolutely beautiful!”

My heart leapt and sunk all at the same time when I heard those words…a Baby Grand piano? from London? Completely refurbished? It definitely was a beautiful piano, more beautiful than I had imagined in my prayers . . . but a beautiful piano that was most definitely worth thousands.

My mom began to explain to me that the man who had donated the piano to the church had done so in honor of his mother who had died in a car accident the year before.  The man had the piano restored so that it would play beautifully and be a fitting tribute to his mother.  But now he needed to sell it because someone was giving a new full-size grand piano to the church at Christmas.

This man didn’t want to sell the piano to just anybody, so he had been praying for the right buyer.

When he met my dad, he said, “Dr. Broggi, I feel like I know you well.  I listen to you everyday on the radio and I can’t tell you how much you have helped me grow in my Christian life.”

The man was very gracious and agreed upon an affordable price.

A few days later, I stood in shock and amazement in our living room at home and stared at not just any piano, but a beautiful piano.

I couldn’t believe it. I shouldn’t have been surprised that God had answered my prayers, but I was.

I smiled as I looked out the window of the car as the forgotten memories from over 10 years earlier flooded my mind. I had vowed as a young girl to never forget how God had answered my prayer, but so often I had. So often I doubted God’s love and care for the little things in my life.

My worries about having the perfect wedding dress disappeared as I remembered my childhood faith. God cared, so I didn’t need to worry.

————————————

An hour later, my mom and I arrived in Charleston. I had picked out several boutiques that I wanted to look at to find a wedding veil.

“I’m not completely sure this place sells veils or wedding gowns,” I told my mom as we approached the first place on my list, “but I know they sell bridesmaids dresses, so they might.”

As the front door of the little shop closed behind us and my eyes adjusted to the natural light in the boutique, I was unable to move because of what I saw displayed in the middle of the shop.

My mom had stopped too and I heard her whisper, “Oh, GraceAnna…”

to be continued…

Posted on by castleberryhearts · 5 Comments

Texas Heart – Part 19

“Grant, you’re going the wrong way!” I told Grant as he turned off the road we were driving on to get to my parents’ house.
I had just picked him up from the airport an hour earlier, but he was driving my car.
Since Grant was behind the wheel, I was giving him directions, but I kept forgetting to tell him which way to go and I thought he had gotten confused again.
“Grant, I’m not joking, this is the wrong way,” I repeated as Grant continued driving down Old Sheldon Church Road. I thought the jet lag must have really caught up with him.
Then suddenly it hit me. He knew where he was going. 
 
I stopped talking and looked at him. There was a faint smile on his face. “Hey, I thought we could go sit and talk for a while at the old church ruins,” Grant explained.
“Sure, I’d love that,” I answered, my heart pounding.
The historic old church, called Old Sheldon, was burned by the British in the Revolutionary War and by General Sherman in the Civil War during his brutal march through the South. It’s just a few miles from my parents’ house and I had taken Grant there when he had visited at Christmas time.
I had been there dozens of times growing up, and I used to pass it every time I drove home from Clemson. Sometimes I would stop there to stretch my legs and pray before arriving home. I’d always loved it.
It was dusk as we arrived and the church looked a little creepy in the darkening light. We got out of the car and weaved our way through the tombstones of dead soldiers and church members as we approached  the giant arches of the old church entrance.
The brick walls and columns were still standing, but the church roof had been burned. I could see the moon and a few stars starting to shine in the evening light. It was quiet and the only sound to be heard was the chirping of crickets. We sat down on the grass inside the church.
It was hard to believe that this was only our second time visiting one another since we had starting talking the previous summer. I stared at Grant’s face, unable to believe that he was really there and sitting next to me.
The evening was so peaceful, but I couldn’t stop my heart from going crazy. I knew why we were here. At least I thought so. Nothing could be more obvious.
Grant was pretty quiet, which was very unusual, and now there was no mistaking the fact that he kept touching his left pocket.
I finally broke the silence, “I never get tired of coming here. It’s just so peaceful and beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you,” Grant said as he stared at me.
I blushed and looked down at the ground. I changed the subject and asked him about how his trip was and how he was doing. Grant’s answers were brief, as if his mind was focused on something else.
As we talked, I tried to ignore the fact that the sand fleas were biting. I knew, I just knew Grant wanted to propose to me and I didn’t want the bugs to ruin one of the most important moments of my life. I hoped they weren’t biting Grant.
Sure enough, as we talked, Grant began swatting his arms and legs.
“These bugs are terrible!” Grant finally exclaimed, “What are these things?“
“Sand fleas.”
“Honestly, they’re killing me, GraceAnna! You ready to go?” Grant asked abruptly as he stood up.
“Um, yeah,” I replied, standing up too.
I was confused. I was convinced that Grant had brought me there to propose. Besides the sand fleas, everything had been so perfect.
I hate you sand fleas! I always have and I always will! I yelled at them inside my head while slapping one viciously on my arm. Ouch!
It was almost completely dark now and as I made my way through the doorway of the church, I suddenly realized Grant wasn’t next to me.
“Grant?” I called frantically in the dark.
I turned around quickly and gasped at what I saw.
 There he was, all six feet of him, down on one knee. The sand fleas now seemingly nonexistent.
“GraceAnna…” Grant began.
My eyes filled with tears and my legs started shaking. This was it. This was the moment.

“I love you, GraceAnna,” Grant continued slowly, “You are the girl of my heart.” 

He took a deep breath, “You are the only woman for me in this world and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I want to be your husband and I want to serve and love you all the days of your life.”


Grant paused and then said the words I knew were coming, “GraceAnna, will you marry me?”

 Of course I knew what I was going to say, but for a moment I couldn’t say anything at all.
I didn’t know what saying yes would mean. I didn’t know where life with Grant would take me. I just knew that I loved him with all my heart and I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be with him even if it meant that I had to live on the other side of the world.
It was dark now, but I could faintly see the glimmer of the diamond that Grant held out to me.
“Yes, Grant. Yes, I want to be your wife,” I said unwaveringly as I stared into his face. His emotions were laid bare. He had held nothing back from me the past nine months. He had truly loved me from the start and had never wavered. And Grant hadn’t just loved me with words, but with everything that he did. Every phone call, every prayer, every word of encouragement and advice that he gave me. He had listened to me and gotten to know me, and he selflessly cared for my heart.
I had always felt that I could never love anyone that I couldn’t trust. But I could trust Grant. I could trust him with all of me.
I watched in awe as Grant slipped the diamond ring on my left finger. I could already tell it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Grant took my hands in both of his. My hands felt small in his and they made me feel safe and protected.
And I couldn’t believe that the ring on my finger was as real as the man who had put it there. The man of my dreams.

I didn’t know how I had ended up here, but I knew that God had brought me.

As we made our way back to the road where my car was parked, my mind flashed back to a forgotten conversation I’d had with my mom an afternoon years before.

I was in high school and my mom and I were talking about engagements because my brother Jordan had just proposed to his soon-to-be wife, Maureen.
Jordan always does things “first class” and he had scheduled a special day trip to New York City and he had proposed to Maureen in Central Park! Wow! 
 
We were talking about how awesome that was when my mom asked what my “dream engagement” scenario was as we drove down Old Sheldon Church Road.

I had to think about it for a few minutes before I gave my answer. As I answered we were driving by  the ruins of Old Sheldon Church, “Just some place special. Maybe where we first met or something like that. I would even love to get engaged somewhere like Old Sheldon,” I had said while glancing at the church ruins.

…..

That had been such a random conversation that day, it really had. And yet, God had heard.

I gazed at my shiny diamond ring from the light in the car and smiled, God always does things first class.



————————————————
to be continued…
Posted on by castleberryhearts · 1 Comment

Texas Heart – Part 18

I ran as fast as I could from my car to my apartment on the third floor of the complex. It was dark and rainy and I had just gotten back from a long day at Duke.
Because I worked on a college campus, most of my nights were late nights that included Bible studies and meetings.
Grant always liked me to call him as soon as I arrived safely to my apartment from campus. He didn’t like me driving late at night and arriving at my apartment alone.
I set my umbrella down as I came in the door and walked straight over to my computer to Skype Grant.  I knew he would be waiting for my call.
I called twice with no answer.
Hmm…that was funny. Normally Grant would pick up on the first or second ring. I started doing other things around my apartment and tried again a few minutes later, still nothing.
Finally, a message popped up on my computer screen. It was a chat from Grant.
I’m sorry, GraceAnna. I’m talking to your parents. I will call you in just a few minutes.
 
I got ready for bed all the while wondering why Grant had called my parents. Was it about marrying me? Was it about coming to the states again soon? 
I knew Grant would have to come back eventually to propose to me and I was dying to see him. It had only been over two months since I had said good-bye to him at Christmas.
 
My phone rang and I picked it up, “Hey, Grant!”
“Hey, babe!” He exclaimed cheerily. Yes, Grant had started calling me babe and he was shameless about it.
 
“How are you?” I asked probingly, not really caring at the moment how he was. I wanted to know why he had called Dr. and Mrs. Broggi.
“I am doing fantastic!” 
I could tell by his super energetic voice that he was indeed doing fantastic.
“Yeah, well why is that?” I tried again.
“Well, guess what I was talking to your parents about?”
“What?” I tried to act nonchalant.
“They asked me when I was planning on marrying you.”
“WHAT?” The nonchalantness was now gone.
“Yeah, well you know I’ve already talked to your dad about it.”
“Oh, really?”
“GraceAnna, you know I want to marry you and I basically told your dad that months ago. But anyway, they asked what my plans were and I started telling them about my upcoming deployment in the spring and I told them that I would like to get married sometime after that. I thought they might think that that was a little early, but they didn’t at all.”
“Well, what did they say?”
“They asked me why I wanted to wait SO LONG to get married.”
“Are you serious?“
“And you know what’s crazy about that, GraceAnna? I talked to my parents about us getting married and they asked me the same thing.”
I was shocked. I had expected both sets of our parents to tell us to wait until Grant came back from Japan, or at least until Grant’s upcoming deployment was over.
But this was huge. The people in our lives that knew and loved us the most were giving us their blessing. And not only their blessing, they were telling us to go for it! SOON!
 
“GraceAnna, I knew I wanted to marry you at Christmas,” Grant continued, “and I honestly could have done it then I was so sure, but I was thinking next summer because I figured your parents would want us to wait…but now, wow, now that I realize that they are giving their blessing… that just opens up the door! I want to marry you this year!”
 
The rain continued to fall and Grant and I talked on the phone almost the entire night. We talked about getting married in the late summer or fall.
“Hey, GraceAnna,” Grant said at some point in the middle of the night, “I want you to know this isn’t how I wanted it. 
 
“Wanted what?”
 
“You know, us having to talk marriage and wedding dates and everything before we are even engaged. And me being so far away like this. I know it’s hard on you sometimes.”
 
“Oh, don’t worry about that Grant. I love you and I’m just so happy God brought you into my life!”
As morning dawned and I became so tired that I could no longer form sentences, we finally said good-night.
I didn’t know how it was all going to work out.
I didn’t know how we would plan our wedding in such a short amount of time.
I didn’t know when Grant would come to see me to “officially” propose.
I didn’t know how I would start explaining to people that I was going to get married sometime that year.
I just knew I loved Grant.
 
————————————————————
“Hey, GraceAnna, I’ve got some bad news,” Grant said over the phone. “The Marine Corps is sending me to the Philippines for the whole month of April.”
“Oh.” My heart sunk.
It had been a couple weeks since we had decided that we would get married later that year. I was so anxious to know when Grant would come propose. It was hard for me to answer people’s questions about my plans for the next year because I didn’t want to tell anyone I was getting married without a ring on my finger.
Instead I would tell people that things were getting “really serious” between Grant and me but I didn’t know exactly how everything was going to work out. Which was true.
But I had a lot of decisions to make, and soon. I had to decide if I was going on the summer missions’ trip to China with Crusade. I had to let Campus Crusade know whether or not I would continue working with them in the fall. I had to let my roommate know if I was moving out.
I had been hoping Grant would be able to fly to the states in April and surprise me with an engagement. I wanted people to meet him so they didn’t think I was leaving the country with some mystery Marine.
I wanted everything to be, well, normal.
So, when Grant gave me the deployment news over the phone that day, I was very disappointed.
 
Why is the Marine Corps so hard? I thought to myself. I wasn’t even married or engaged yet and it was already dictating my life.
 
Grant could sense my disappointment. “Look, I know this is hard, but I just need you to trust me. You are the girl of my heart, GraceAnna, and I would give my life for you in a heartbeat. I want you to be my wife more than anything in this world. Everything will work out just fine. I am coming to see you. You’ll just have to wait a little longer.”
 
“Grant, I do trust you. I love you too.”
 
—————————————
 
I drove down 1-95 S toward the Savannah airport. It was May 3rd.
I had done it. I had made it through March and April without Grant and I had even announced our “unofficial” engagement to my close friends and those that I needed to share it with.
And now, Grant was coming to see me!
I was nervous again. But this was a different kind of nervous. I wasn’t nervous about the “disconnect” any longer. I wasn’t nervous about whether or not the next few days would be “awkward.”
I was excited-nervous.
I knew, knew I was getting engaged.
Of course, I would have rather been completely surprised by his proposal, but that was just not how it was to be. That’s not how it is for many military couples I have come to learn. There are too many details that have to be worked out beforehand.
In a very small sense, I saw it as a way to be a part of the sacrifice my future husband was making for our country.
But I did wonder how Grant was going to propose.
My brother Jordan joked that Grant was going to ride down the airport escalator on one knee. And for some reason, I couldn’t get that image out of my head. What if Grant did do that? 
 
Grant hardly knew Beaufort at all and I sure hoped he wouldn’t ask me in public. Grant is a very public kind of guy, so I didn’t think it would be beyond him to do something like that.
Okay, GraceAnna, you need to stop it! I told myself. Do you want to plan your own engagement? Just trust Grant, like he told you to do.
 
I parked my car and walked into the airport. I was early again this time, but not hours early like I had been at Christmas.
I waited and waited, and then I saw him.
My tall, Marine Cowboy made his way towards me. He stared shamelessly into my eyes with a huge smile and he embraced me with the biggest most wonderful Texas-sized hug. I had waited so long for that hug and when I started to cry he said, “Let’s get out of here!“
Whew, I thought, no escalator proposal.
We got in the car and I couldn’t help but notice that Grant kept fiddling with his left jean pocket.
 
 
to be continued…
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Texas Heart – Part 17

I sat across the table from my sister-in-law, Maureen, at California Pizza Kitchen in Durham. Maureen had flown in for the weekend to visit me while my brother Jordan watched their boys so that we could have some girl time.
Since I don’t have any sisters, my sisters-in-law are my sisters, and I’ve known Maureen for as long as I can remember. We practically grew up together.
Her family owned a farm just a couple miles from our house. My brothers grew up working on the farm and my brother Jordan met Maureen in a strawberry patch. I’m not kidding about that. I think they actually did. And he’s loved her ever since.
“So, when are you and Grant Castleberry going to get married?” Maureen asked as she sipped on her tea.
I smiled. Maureen never beat around the bush. “Well, I don’t know. Not for a long while I suppose. I mean, Grant will be in Japan for another year at least, so I’m thinking sometime after that. Of course, he hasn’t officially asked me yet anyway.“
“Oh, come on, GraceAnna. You know he wants to marry you!”
I smiled again as I took a sip of my tea this time.
“You don’t need to wait another year,” Maureen continued. “Y’all need to get married! He’s awesome and you are perfect for each other and you know as well as I do that God brought him into your life.”

As I listened to Maureen I thought about what she said…God brought him into your life.

My thoughts flashed back to the previous summer when we were vacationing as a family on Fripp Island. A few days before Grant had added me on Facebook, Maureen and I had gone for a run together. Instead of running on the beach, we ran on the asphalt bike trail that weaved all across the island.
We ran slow enough to talk, and just like always, we talked about everything.
 Maureen asked me if it was hard for me that I wasn’t dating anyone.
“Yes, it is sometimes,” I replied, “but God has really given me a peace about where I am right now and I can honestly say that I’m trusting God with that area of my life. I can’t explain how I am so “okay” with it, but I am and I know that’s because of the Lord.”
Even now as I think back on that, I am reminded that when we truly have a desire to follow the Lord with all of our heart, He gives us a peace in certain circumstances that just can’t be explained.
“You’ll meet someone this next year,” Maureen said as we ran over a small bridge that crossed over the marsh. “And you’ll be married before you know it!“
“I hope you are right Maureen, but who knows, I just don’t see anyone on the horizon.” 

I now looked at Maureen across the table and realized that she had been right and that there had been things on my horizon . . . though I couldn’t see them at the time.

God hadn’t shown them to me yet, He had just called me trust Him with what I could see.

“But Maureen, do you mean you think I should go live in Japan?!” I asked as I looked back across the table at her at CPK.

“It would be such an adventure, GraceAnna! And you know you don’t want to wait another year and a half or more to get married!”

Our pizza arrived and Maureen and I began to talk about other things.
But I kept thinking… maybe Japan wasn’t such a scary thought after all…maybe it would be an adventure…
—————————————————————

I heard a noise. It was a ringing sound.

I opened one eye. It was still dark outside. It was really early and I was in bed.

I finally realized it was my phone that was ringing.

“Hello?” I didn’t even try to hide the fact that I was practically dead to the world.

“Hey GA!” Grant’s voiced exclaimed excitedly.

“What time is it?“I said very slowly and sleepily.

“It’s really early,” Grant stated unashamedly, “I’m sorry to wake you up but I got off work early and I’ve been dying to call you. I waited and waited and I tried to wait longer but I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Hiiii……” I said happily as my eyes started falling shut again.

“Hey, GraceAnna, what kind of engagement rings do you like?“

My eyes popped open and my entire body shot up in bed.

“Ummm….what?”

“You know, rings, what do you like…white gold, yellow gold…”

“Oh…that kind of ring…” my heart was beating with excitement. I knew I needed an answer but it suddenly occurred to me that I had never thought about what kind of engagement ring I liked.

Okay, I thought to myself. This is huge. HUGE. What do I like? WHAT DO I LIKE? Oh, how had I never thought of this before? What was wrong with me? Am I not a female in my early TWENTIES!!! Every female in her twenties has surely decided on this. 


I had been so focused for so long on praying for a husband and not dwelling on things that weren’t meant to be for me yet, that I hadn’t even thought about what I really liked.

I had seen lots of rings that I thought were pretty, but I had never decided on what ring I wanted for myself.


“I like gold,” I stated quickly before realizing the stupidity of my answer. I sure hope we were on the same page with that.

“Well, yellow or white?” Grant asked without skipping a beat.

“I like yellow gold,” I said as I thought about my mom and Grandma’s rings – they both had yellow gold rings.

“What kind of diamond cut do you like? Do you like square or circular…?”

Is Grant really asking me this right now??? I glanced at the clock. It was around 5am.

“I think I like a round cut.”

“Okay, that’s all I needed to know. You can go back to sleep now. Bye, love you.“

“Bye.”

Did he just say, “You can GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW!!!” Was he crazy?


I jumped out of bed and ran over to my computer. I went to the only website I knew of that had diamond rings – Tiffany & Co.

I looked up the engagement rings that had round diamonds and yellow gold. I sat there with my mouth hanging open.

Yes, I had made a good choice. A very. good. choice.

I slowly walked back over to my bed and lay quietly down, my heart thumping.

Am I dreaming? I asked aloud, knowing full well that even my subconscious mind would not have dreamed up that conversation.

What in the world was going on? Was Grant going to fly to the states and surprise me? Would it be soon? 


Wow, oh, wow! He really, really loves me!


I laid there on my bed basking in the excitement of thinking about a gold ring with a round diamond on my left finger until the sun began to pour in through the blinds.

And I knew one thing for sure, I was going to get married!

—————————————-

to be continued…

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Texas Heart – Part 16

It was still winter at Duke but the cold started to lose its chill as signs of spring began to come to life on campus.

I love the changing of seasons. I especially loved it that year. North Carolina was beautiful.

I realized that my life was changing too. Before I knew it, my one year internship at Duke would be over. I couldn’t believe it. I was already reaching the point where I needed to start making some decisions about what I was going to do after the spring semester ended. Was I going to extend at Duke or move on to something different?


I definitely knew that I loved my job. I had already become so close with my co-workers at Duke and with so many of the students. The thought of leaving made me sad.

But then, there was my relationship with Grant. After Grant’s visit at Christmas, I no longer wondered whether or not I wanted to be with Grant – I knew that I did. The question now was when that would happen.

Grant had never beaten around the bush with our relationship. He never made me wonder about his feelings for me. I knew he wanted to marry me. I knew it because he had told me. He hadn’t officially asked me, but he had told me his ultimate intentions for our relationship.

Wow, he wanted to marry me!


I smiled to myself as I walked across campus. So much had changed since I had come to Duke.

While the thought of marriage made me smile, sometimes it made me scared too. I wasn’t quite ready to talk about it.

It made me scared because everything was so uncertain. Grant was going to be in Japan on unaccompanied orders with the Marine Corps until the Summer of 2010. That was a long time to be apart from him – a year and a half until he even came back to America.

And visiting was hard too. It’s not like Grant could hop on a plane any time he wanted to visit me. Would our relationship be forever long distance? Would I visit him in Japan at some point? Obviously I would need to spend more time with him in person before I committed to marry him.


And I couldn’t imagine jumping on a plane and going to Japan to visit Grant. The thought of making a trip like that alone was obviously out of the question.

I’ve never considered myself to be a very adventurous person. I get scared of ferris wheels and even the most mild of roller coaster rides at the state fair. “Adventure” has never been high on my list.

While my friends in college would talk about all the countries they wanted to one day visit or live, I just thought about how wonderful it would be to go for a run on the beach in the Lowcountry.

I did hold to one form of adventure though – whatever God’s plan was for me. I was committed to following His adventure for my life, even if that meant living or going somewhere far away.

But Japan was awfully far away.

And now, unexpectedly, half my heart was there.

——————————————————————————

A man in a cowboy hat and boots helped me get my bag down from the overhead compartment in the airplane. 

My plane had just landed in Midland, Texas and it didn’t take me long to realize that I was in the middle of nowhere.

It was late February. Grant’s family wanted to get to know me so they asked if I would mind flying out to Texas to spend a weekend with them.

I was glad they wanted to meet me and agreed to go. Even though I wished Grant could be there, I was excited to meet his family. I figured that getting to know his family would help me get to know him even better.

Even though it was dark when I arrived in West Texas, I could tell that there weren’t any trees for miles and the air felt dry and warm.

I was born in Texas, but this was my first time to visit since my family had moved to Beaufort when I was four years old.

I spotted Grant’s family and they welcomed me with hugs and smiles.

————————————————–

I shut the bedroom door and glanced around Grant’s room. His bedroom just so happened to function as the guest bedroom in his parents’ house, so I got to stay in it. I loved that.

Grant didn’t grow up in Midland, so this wasn’t his childhood bedroom, but it was filled with all of his childhood and high school things.

I set down my bag and looked around the small room that looked warm and cozy in the lamp light. I felt like I was in a museum. It was the Grant Castleberry Museum and I gazed quietly at everything in his room as if each object would tell me something about the man that I had come to love.

The first thing I noticed was a picture frame hanging on the wall to the left of his bed. It was of his dad, Kelly. The picture was taken in the desert and his dad was adorned in a flight suit and there was a fighter jet in the background.

To the right of his bed was the tallest pair of boots I had ever seen. I was later to learn that these were Grant’s Texas A&M senior boots.

On the nightstand there was a picture of Grant in overalls with his hand held high in the air as he led an Aggie Yell.

I glanced at the bookshelf. It was filled with books by John Piper, John MacArthur, and quite a few Louis L’Amour western novels. I spotted a photo album and I pulled it out  started flipping through it.

I smiled as I looked at pictures of Grant from high school. Grant had told me over the phone that I could look at anything in his room. I really appreciated that because I knew that he was trusting me with something important – himself.

After an hour or so of looking through pictures, I pulled a small journal off the shelf. I debated back and forth whether or not I should open it.

A journal is kind of personal, after all… but Grant did tell me I could look at ANYTHING. I’m pretty sure a journal falls under that category, right? 

The debate was over. I opened it.

It was Grant’s prayer journal and the entries were dated 1998. Tears started to roll down my face as I read his prayers. They were the most genuine prayers I had ever read.

One prayer caught my eye. It was a prayer for his future wife. “God,” he wrote on one line, “please prepare her heart to be a pastor’s wife.”


I thought about my background as a pastor’s daughter and now working in full time ministry. Had God been preparing my heart all this time to be Grant’s wife?


My eyes were heavy and I laid down on the bed Grant grew up sleeping on in high school.

Wow, I thought, God sure knows what He is doing.


————————————-


The next couple days were a lot of fun as Grant’s family showed me all around their small West Texas town. I saw oil rigs, tumble weeds, and even a road runner for the first time in my life.

His parents even bought me a pair of cowboy boots.  There was no going back now.

One evening, Grant’s mom and I sat and talked about Grant’s growing up years. I asked her a ton of questions as I tried to fill in all the years of Grant’s life. I wanted to know everything about him.

One story stuck out to me and I will never forget it.

Susan told me about a time when she and Grant were at a busy shopping mall when Grant was eight years old.

All of the sudden, they ran into a young mom who was sobbing hysterically because she couldn’t find her little girl.

Grant got down on his knees in the middle of the crowded mall and asked God to please help him find the little girl.

Grant then stood up and walked into a store a little ways away and started looking in the clothing racks. There, sitting among the clothes, was the little girl. Grant took her by the hand and brought her to her mother.

I just sat there and listened. All the pieces were coming together for me. I had been amazed at Grant’s faith, and I began to see that this was nothing new for him. He had been this way since he was a little boy.

“I think,” I remember Grant’s mom saying,”because Grant’s dad died when Grant was so young, heaven was just so real to him. He knew that his dad had gone somewhere, that he didn’t just disappear. And because of that, he prayed to God in a very real way.“

I could only hope that I was privileged enough to be an answer to one of Grant’s prayers.

————————————-

I boarded the plane to head back to Duke. I pulled out my journal and started to record everything about my visit and all that God had showed me over the weekend.

As I journaled and stared on and off at the clouds outside my airplane window, it hit me that I wasn’t afraid of all the “unknowns” and all the “uncertainty” anymore that surrounded the future of my relationship with Grant.

I wanted to marry Grant and I realized that I was more ready than I had previously thought.

to be continued…

Posted on by castleberryhearts · 5 Comments

Texas Heart – Part 15

It was Christmas Eve. I had just climbed into one of the beds in my brothers’ old bedroom upstairs in my parents’ house. Everyone was home for Christmas and the house was packed.
It was the night of day 8 of Grant’s visit. He would spend Christmas day with me and then he would leave really early the next morning.
I leaned against the pillow, feeling absolutely exhausted. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but the sleep wouldn’t come. Just like it had been when I was a little, the excitement of Christmas kept me awake.
But this was a different excitement. It wasn’t the curiosity of what might be in my red crochet stocking over the fireplace or what the presents under the tree with my name on them might contain.
No this was different. This Christmas I was excited about something that couldn’t be wrapped and wouldn’t fit under the tree. I was reveling in the excitement of Grant Castleberry.
Since our day in Charleston, my “disconnect” had gradually faded away. It was less like a fading and more like an opening of my eyes.
I knew God had answered my prayer when I asked Him to please give me clarity in my relationship with Grant. After I had begged in tears for His guidance and direction, I began to sense the peace that only God can give when we truly give a situation to Him.
And that’s when things started happening. My blinders started falling off. The “Japan Grant” and the “Beaufort Grant” started to come together.
The Grant who made me laugh on the telephone was the Grant making me laugh in person. The Grant with whom I enjoyed spending hours with on the phone, was the same Grant with whom I enjoyed spending hours with in person. The Grant who led me spiritually over the phone was praying with me and sharing what God was teaching Him in person. The Grant who had been “only mine” was now being shared with my family and friends. And they loved him.
And I realized I loved my Grant even more now than I did over the phone and through letters.
As I laid there, I thought about the events of that day. Grant had told me that morning that he wanted to go back out to his dad’s memorial marker and clean it. It had been so dirty the first time we had visited it together.
That afternoon, I was gathering cleaning supplies to take out to the cemetery when my family noticed and asked what we were going to do.

Before we knew it, it wasn’t just Grant and me out in the cemetery cleaning Kelly Castleberry’s marker, but my dad and my brothers were there too. Jeremy and Jameson helped to clean each crevice with Q-tips and bleach.
As I stood out there and watched the guys clean the memorial marker, I thought about how much things had changed since the last time Grant and I were there. The first time, we had come alone.
I was feeling disconnected and scared.
But now, it wasn’t just about Grant’s and my grieving over his dad. My family was involved. And as I watched my father and Grant kneeling in the grass cleaning the marker of the godly man who meant so much to Grant, I knew that things had changed forever.

Grant glanced up at me, and I smiled. Yes, things had forever changed.
That guy in cowboy boots had stolen parts of my heart I didn’t know could be taken. Deep parts. Parts that weren’t just “I like you, you like me, dating is fun,” but deep parts of my heart that no guy had ever touched.
I thought about these things that Christmas Eve and the tears started to fall there in the dark. Unlike the other night when I had cried tears of confusion and fear, tonight I cried tears of joy.
 
I loved Grant. And I knew, I knew that God had brought him to me.
God had answered every prayer that I’d ever prayed for the type of man that I’d wanted to be my future husband. He hadn’t answered the way I thought he was going to answer. I had been completely taken off guard by Grant Castleberry.
I had expected to meet my husband in college. When that didn’t happen, I thought God decided that I needed to be single for a while.
But God had a different plan for me. He was answering the way that He saw fit with the man that He knew would complete me. Obviously the ones that I had chosen hadn’t worked out.
His choice was so much better than anything I could have imagined.
His choice was godly and down to earth and funny and a hard worker and social and had the heart of a real man. His choice was perfect.
What a special Christmas Eve. I could care less about what was in my stocking or what presents were under the tree for me. Did we even do stockings anymore?
God had given a gift to me that had not been on my list, but far surpassed anything I had ever opened on a Christmas.
My cell phone was next to me and it started to ring.
“Hey GraceAnna,” said the most wonderful voice in the world. “I just wanted to tell you good-night.”
“Grant, I just love you so much,” I blurted out.
Grant sat there in silence and I could almost hear his ear-to-ear grin. “Well, Merry Christmas to you too.“
——————————
It was early. It was still dark. It was the morning after Christmas. My dad drove Grant and me to the airport.
I was sad. I was trying not to cry.
Grant was leaving. Not just leaving Beaufort or South Carolina, but he was leaving America.
He was going so far away and I didn’t know for how long. I barely said a word the whole drive.
We arrived at the airport and I stood next to Grant as he checked his bags. My heart felt as heavy as the massive Marine Corps backpack Grant so easily hefted over his shoulder.
This was it. The 10 days were over. And they had been so wonderful.
Grant hugged me and wiped the tears from my face that were now flooding down uncontrollably.
He looked at me and smiled.
I knew this wasn’t good-bye. I knew this was only the beginning.
 
to be continued…