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Pilgrims in a Land of Giants

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As we approach Thanksgiving, most of us are probably thinking about the Pilgrims, or at least referencing them in some way. Instead of focusing so much on the Pilgrims’ “thanksgiving meal,” it would probably serve us far better to contemplate their great faith in God. The Pilgrims’ theology was revealed through their many hardships. Their first governor, William Bradford, when explaining how the colonists survived the winter, said it was in spite of “all their weaknesses and infirmities.” He wanted his readers to give God the glory so that “in like cases might be encouraged to depend upon God in their trials (1).” The Pilgrims knew the Word of God so well that it radically changed their perspective on life. They were strong not because they were some kind of super-humans, but because of their trust in God. They were a humble people who gloried in God as their strength.

The Pilgrims surely modeled the faith of the holy men and women of old from Scripture who looked forward to the promise of Christ’s coming. Although they were pilgrims (Hebrews 11:13), they longed for the “city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.”

They believed God’s promises through the eyes of faith. Some were tortured, mocked, flogged, imprisoned, stoned, sawn in two, killed with the sword, destitute, afflicted, and mistreated (Hebrews 11:36-37). They were men and women of whom the world was not worthy (11:38).

There was so much they couldn’t see, and yet they trusted in a faithful God.

Strength In God

Numbers 13 and 14 tell the story of two groups of people – those who had faith in God in the midst of difficult circumstances, and those who failed to see Him. In these chapters, Moses sends 12 spies into the land of Canaan to survey it. When the spies return, 10 describe what they see: giants, walled cities, and a people who were much stronger then they were. The spies tell Moses and the people of Israel, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are (13:31).”

But 2 of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, gave a very different report. They did not argue with the other spies or deny the fact that they were “grasshoppers” in the sight of the mighty men of Canaan. But their overall perspective was filled with hope: “Do not fear the people of the land…the Lord is with us; do not fear them (14:7,9).”

Same circumstance and yet two different perspectives.

The Scripture records that the 10 spies gave a “bad report” (13:32) but Joshua and Caleb exuded a “different spirit” (14:24) and they were blessed by the Lord. So what was the difference between these two groups of men? The difference was not in their circumstances, but Who they saw (or failed to see).

The 10 spies saw the obstacles and the giants. Minus God.

But Joshua and Caleb saw more than that. They saw God.

The 10 spies said, there are giants!

Joshua and Caleb said, but we have God!  (2)

The 10 spies were faithless.

Joshua and Caleb had faith in God.

The 10 spies didn’t believe God’s promise that He would bring them into the land.

Joshua and Caleb remembered the promise and knew that somehow God would make a way.

Ordinary People, Big Faith

I’ve thought about this a lot the past couple months and it has brought much conviction to my heart. Life is hard. Trials are many. Death is real. How many days do I forget to say, “But God!”

Just like Joshua and Caleb, I know the God of Israel, the One who, “Looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything (Job 28:24)” and who “Has gathered the wind in his fists (Prov 30:4).”

Yet, I’ve been like the faithless spies so many times.

And we’ve all been around people like the faithless spies.

How saddening is it to be around the single woman who is dejected and bitter and says, “I’ll never get married. I’ll never be happy.”

How discouraging is it to be around a young mother who complains constantly about the dirty diapers, the surprise pregnancy, and her lack of “me time.”

How disheartening is it to be around the mother with grown children who tells you to “Enjoy it now, because it isn’t going to last.”

But how different it is to be around a woman who sees God at work in her circumstances. Have you ever been around a godly woman like that? She doesn’t sugarcoat her circumstances or pretend like everything is perfect, she is real and honest and yet full of faith.

The single woman says, “Yes it is hard and I am often lonely and I long to be married, but God is a refuge for me and I have grown in my faith in ways I never would have imagined were possible.”

The young mother says, “There are days when I don’t think I can change another diaper, but then God meets me right where I am and I understand his grace in a new way,” or “We were definitely surprised by this pregnancy but I know that God is the giver of life and I trust His perfect timing for our family.”

The mother with grown children says, “I remember when mine were young. It is very busy, but enjoy every minute. Things change, but every age and stage is a gift.”

Or the mother who has a rebellious child but with tears in her eyes says, “I never give up hope because I know who God is, and He is working out all things for my good and His glory.”

These are women who live in the land of giants, yet see through the eyes of faith.

Who Do You See?

I don’t know what trials you may be going through this Thanksgiving, but do you see Christ? Is your heart set on this world or do you view yourself as what you are, a sojourner and a pilgrim?  While loneliness may flood your heart or sorrow abound, believe His promises. Strength is found in Christ, look to Him. May we say like Joshua and Caleb, and all those ordinary pilgrims of old, Do not fear, God is with us!

“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” Psalm 84:5 (NIV)

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(1) These quotes from William Bradford and the faith of the Pilgrims are from The First Thanksgiving by Robert McKenzie. I absolutely loved this book!

(2) – I learned these truths from Numbers 13 and 14 in a counseling class taught by Dr. Stuart Scott at Southern Seminary.

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A Truly Thankful Heart

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As Thanksgiving approaches, I wanted share a few thoughts about what the Lord has been teaching me regarding thankfulness. I hope these truths from Luke 17 will cause you to stop and ponder God’s goodness as they did for me.

Here is my piece (at CBMW):

Jesus, Thank You

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The Faith of Hudson Taylor

ImageI’ve owned Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret for over five years. I bought it at the recommendation of a friend right after I graduated from college. I had every intention of reading it back then, but when I fell in love with a certain Texan, it was  forgotten. It sat on my desk for quite some time until I finally shelved it, resolving I would one day pick it back up. I’m so glad I finally did, and even though it took me half a decade to do so, it was probably more beneficial to me in my stage of life now then it would have been then.

Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret is written by his second son, Frederick Taylor, and his wife, Mary. It covers a general summary of Hudson Taylor’s life and ministry and is perfect for someone (like me) who wants to learn more about this mighty missionary but doesn’t have hours to devote to detailed volumes. Hudson Taylor was born in 1832 in England and became a believer in Jesus Christ in 1849. His conversion is a beautiful story that speaks to the godly faithfulness of his mother. She was out of town, spending the day with friends, when she was particularly burdened for her son’s salvation. She left the group for several hours and prayed fervently on her knees until she finally felt God had answered her prayers. Meanwhile, miles away from his mom, young Hudson believed in “the finished work of Christ (3).” His lifelong “call” to share Christ with the people of China came shortly after his conversion. Hudson had grown up hearing his father’s prayers for the unreached people of China, so the country was dear to his heart. Once his calling from God came, Taylor never looked back for he was “not disobedient to the heavenly vision (8).” His whole life was dedicated to reaching the Chinese for Christ, no matter the trials and hardships that came with this mission. He was unwaveringly committed, and he sacrificed all for China: the death of his child, Gracie, his wife and “heart-friend” Maria, his second wife, Emily, and finally in 1905, he went home to be with the Lord from Hunan.

What made this man sacrifice so much for the salvation of the Chinese? Most of the fruit of his ministry (the millions saved through the ministry of The China Inland Mission) he never witnessed in his lifetime. There were two things that really gripped me as I read this book that I think set Hudson Taylor apart as one of the mightiest missionaries of the faith: his heart for the lost and his unwavering faith in God.

Heart for the lost:

Hudson Taylor wasn’t just called to a country, he was called to a people. He wasn’t content in simply knowing Christ for himself, his soul grieved for those who did not know Christ. So much so, that many nights he could not sleep because “every day tens of thousands in that land were passing away into Christ-less graves (87).” His passionate heart for the lost caused me to examine my own heart for those who don’t know the truth of Christ and made me wonder what the world would be like if there were more men and women who lost sleep just by thinking of those who do not know the Savior. But Hudson’s life of sacrifice was not ultimately for the Chinese, but for Christ. Speaking of the trials and suffering he experienced, Hudson said, “I never made a sacrifice (15).” Giving was receiving for Hudson Taylor, and the rewards of knowing Christ brought such joy that any suffering paled in comparison. He wrote in a letter to his mother, “Should we not rejoice when we can give up anything for the Savior? (16).” And his love and faith in God is what marked this man and enabled him to labor and suffer much for the name of Christ.

Faith in God:

Hudson Taylor’s faith caused me to sit for two hours straight one night because I simply could not put this book down. As a young man and assistant physician still living in England, he chose to live in a very humble area of town (Drainside), in order to better rely on God for provision as he prepared for the mission field. He lived very frugally and there were times when he did not know where the money would come to pay his next rent. One such time he had only a half-crown in his pocket and while ministering to a very poor family who had many mouths to feed and a dying mother, he felt God wanted him to give the last cent out of his pocket. Hudson wondered how such a little would ever help, but in that moment he felt the Holy Spirit impressing on his heart, “Give to him that asketh of thee.” As soon as he gave what little he had, his soul was “as light as my pocket (21).” God was teaching him the importance of faithfulness in the little things because, “If we are faithful in little things, we shall gain experience and strength that will be helpful to us in more serious trials of life (22).” His heart-longing to obey Christ down to the very smallest of areas, made me evaluate my own life. I was challenged by what Frederick Taylor, said of his father’s faith, “In these days of easy-going Christianity, is it not well to remind ourselves that it really does cost to be a man or woman who God can use (11).”

There is much more I could share about what touched my heart as I read this book. One other part of Hudson’s life that spoke volumes to me was his romance with Maria Dyer. They had the same heart for the Chinese people and felt assured they were, “Two whom God hath chosen to walk together before Him (64).” However, Maria’s guardian, Miss Aldersey (her parents were dead), would have nothing of Hudson Taylor, “that young, poor, unconnected Nobody (64).” She told Maria that she must break off her relationship with Hudson at once. Even though she was heartbroken, she trusted that nothing was too hard for the Lord and that he would bring them together if it was his will, “If he has to slay my Isaac…I know he will restore (64).” She respected the authority God placed in her life and God answered her prayers, bringing her and Hudson back together in his perfect timing. Her trust in God speaks loudly to young, Christian men and women who do not respect their parents’ decisions regarding relationships (whether they want them to wait to marry, or finish school, or end a relationship).  Even though Maria loved Hudson and knew that Miss Aldersey was wrong in her judgment of him, she trusted in the God who can change the hearts of kings. We have much to learn from her faith when it comes to trusting God. I had to ask myself, Do I trust God like that? Do I desire His will even at times when it comes in direct conflict with my own?

I only have two points of concern that I will quickly address as I wrap this up. First, I was deeply saddened when I read that Hudson and Maria sent their children back to England because the conditions in China were so terrible for their health. I wasn’t troubled that they went back, but that they were separated from their parents. Their youngest child at the time (only five), was extremely sick and his condition seemed to worsen at the thought of being separated from his parents (141). He died in his mother’s arms the night before the journey to England. Hudson and Maria had a deep faith in God and love for the Chinese, but what about their love for their children? I know they loved them deeply, so it seems they could have gone home for a season (while their children grew up) supporting the mission work in China and helping to send out missionaries?  It was after their children left that Maria’s condition deteriorated, which led to her early death. As mothers, our primary ministry is our children, and I can’t imagine the pain and heartbreak Maria experienced (and her children) as she sent them away on that boat, never to see them again on this earth.

The other point of concern was in Hudson Taylor’s Keswick view of sanctification (his “Spiritual Secret”), which has been historically known by the slogan, “Let go and let God.” I will not try to explain that view of sanctification here (you can read more here). But this view of the Christian life creates two categories of Christians: those who have experienced a second blessing, and those that have not. The view actually minimizes the effects of sin in our lives by advocating a quick fix to sin problems by “abiding” in Christ instead of “working out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

I am so glad I read this biography. I was very moved as I read the details of Hudson Taylor’s conversion, call to ministry, preparation for ministry, early years in China (which included dressing like the Chinese), his romance with Maria, their perseverance through trials in ministry, the death of their daughter, Gracie, and more. But to be honest, after I read that they sent their children back to England, it was really difficult for me to pick the book back up again. As a young mother myself, I kept picturing that little boy’s broken heart at the thought of being separated from his mom. I felt disappointed.

However, I’m so glad I didn’t let that keep me from finishing the book, and I was reminded that every hero of the faith has flaws. No matter how great and godly a person may be, there will always be things about someone that will disappoint us. We must remember not to hold people on pedestals, but  remember they are imperfect people (like us) that God uses for His great glory. They point us to the Perfect One, Christ, and they would never want to do anything different. I was also comforted by the fact that Hudson’s son (Frederick), who wrote the book, obviously loved the Lord deeply, so God was gracious and faithful in all of it.

This is an important biography of one of the greatest English-speaking missionaries to have ever lived. I hope you will be strengthened in your own walk with Christ through the faith of Hudson Taylor.

il_570xN.447507895_do38I just wanted to post a few follow-up thoughts to my blogpost, “Messy Faith” that I posted last week.

As I thought about it more, I think it would have been better to title it, “Faithful In a Little” or “Faithfulness, Not Perfection” just because it more clearly sums up what I was trying to convey in my post.

Jesus says in Luke 16:10, “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a little thing is dishonest in much.”

How we handle the little things in life often reveals the true character of our hearts. As we grow in our intimacy with God and dependance upon Him, we will grow in our faithfulness in both the big areas of life and the smallest details.

Also, I just wanted to reiterate that I do think the DIY and Pinterest culture is a neat thing!  I love when I have an idea and I’m able to look it up online and gain further inspiration.  It seems that there has been a return to domesticity among women through the sharing and collecting of ideas on the Internet. It’s a great way to encourage one another to not only be caretakers of our home, but seek to make it beautiful.

It’s interesting to focus in on the details of the creation of man and woman in Genesis 2. While Adam was formed out of dirt and later placed by God in the garden, Eve’s creation was different. She was created from Adam in an already flourishing garden of perfection (Genesis 2:7-8, 15, 21-22).

It’s as if from our very beginning, we were wired for beauty.

I do believe that cultivating a desire to make things beautiful and “from scratch” and “homey” is a very good thing. It’s a way that we express love to our family and those around us. It’s part of who we are.

But our temptation, and I think this is especially true for us as younger women, is to get caught up in those things. Instead of being like Mary who sat at the feet of Jesus, we are often like Martha, running around frantically trying to make everything just right.

It would probably do us good to replace Martha’s name with ours when Jesus rebuked her, “__________, __________, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her (Luke 10:41).”

I love how John MacArthur explains these verses: “Martha was evidently fussing about with details that were unnecessarily elaborate. “

The point that I understand from this passage is not that we should quit doing housework or hosting dinners in our home. What Jesus draws into the light is that while Martha was scurrying around and stressed out, Mary had an attitude of worship and meditation. Her heart was open to Jesus’ words and His teaching.  She was focused on Christ, not the extra “unnecessarily elaborate” details.

This truth hit home for me a couple years ago when I was making meals for people (those who had just had a baby or were sick, etc) in our church.  I had a desire to make the most amazing “from scratch” meals. I would devote hours into making a meal. I told myself that I was doing it for them. But after I would deliver a meal, I would be absolutely exhausted. I started dreading the thought of serving others in this way. One time, my mom came over in one such flurry of “godly” productivity and said, “You know, GraceAnna, the meal doesn’t have to be so elaborate.”

And that’s when it hit me. I wasn’t doing all this for them. I was doing it for me. I was placing a standard of “perfection” on myself that was not required. I wasn’t worshipping Christ, I was worshipping little miss meal maker.

Now, there are women who can make an elaborate meal in the busyness of life and worship Christ fully while doing it. But God showed me that in my season of life with very small children, it was not good for me or my family.

I wasn’t striving for faithfulness, I was striving for perfection.

I still make meals for people. But I have one or two simple but still delicious meals that I make and I find great joy in doing it. I recently made a meal for a family and they wanted the recipe for the “amazing” chocolate chip cookies I delivered.

It was a simple answer: “break n bake.”

Whether married, unmarried, kids or no kids, we are bombarded with messages that tell us that we need to buy and create more things in order to be satisfied. But that’s not what Jesus says, “One thing is necessary.”

What’s the one thing? A heart that worships Jesus.

As young women, in all that we do and create, may we worship Him.  May our lives and homes be a reflection of the love we have for Christ so that others, especially our husband and children feel that love. They know that all the little things we do (whether made from scratch or not)  is out of a heart that longs for the one thing.

And when our best attempts fail, and we realize we have been trying to live by our Pinterest page rather than the truth of God’s Word, we let go of the unnecessarily elaborate details, and remind ourselves what the Maker of all good things says: “One thing is necessary.”

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Messy Faith

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I was trying desperately to get out the door. The clean dishes were unloaded from the dishwasher and replaced by the sticky ones from breakfast. Oatmeal that was vehemently clinging to the carpet had been scrubbed clean. I wiped cheerios and spilled milk off a high chair tray and dashed to the bathroom to apply two minutes worth of make-up and throw my hair in a ponytail.

I picked up two little people one by one, wiped down their sticky hands and faces, changed their diapers, and put on their outfits. While searching frantically for a matching pair of shoes, as if on cue, breakfast hit their tiny tummies. I undressed them, changed their diapers, and redressed them. The lost shoe was found in a toy bin. As I packed the diaper bag, I turned to find my oldest curiously digging through a bag of trash. I moved the trash, took her hand, and started loading both of the girls in the car.

I went around to one car seat, click, click, click. And then around to the other, click, click, click. I went back inside, grabbed my purse, and took a final look around the apartment. As hard as I had tried to leave everything clean, it was still messy.

With the apartment now locked up, I got in the car and immediately a voice in the backseat cried for “lovey” which was most certainly left inside.

I looked at the time. Fifteen minutes late.

I glanced at the two sweet faces in the back seat, one who was crying. Should I even try to go where I was headed? Maybe I should just go back inside. It would be naptime before long.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the headrest. Why couldn’t I get it together? 

I spent the next few minutes of that morning beating myself up for not being an always on-time and organized kind of mom. Essentially, I was asking myself, why am I not perfect?

I’ve had many mornings like the one I described above and I am sure I will have many more in my future as long as I am alive and breathing.

Even though these kinds of mornings aren’t my favorite, I am learning to embrace them because they are a regular reminder that I am, indeed, far from a “perfect” mother.

What is a perfect mother any way?

As I grow in my understanding of what it means to raise little ones, I have been freed by a simple truth that I heard while taking a counseling class for seminary wives last semester: “God has not called you to be perfect, God has called you to be faithful.” 

In our DIY and Pinterest-perfect culture, sometimes it’s easy to start comparing ourselves or wondering how all those women out there in the blogosphere do all the things they do so beautifully. While these things (whatever it may be: fashion, crafting, home-decorating, etc)  have their place, as soon as we start making them our primary focus, we can get lost very quickly. After all, people only post their best anyway.

As women, we are often hard on ourselves for things that we shouldn’t be: Why can’t I be as crafty as her? Why can’t I decorate my home like she does? I wish I were musically talented like that. If only I could get up as early as she does. How does she keep in such great shape?

But we are soft on areas where we should be tough. We say we are “stressed” or “frazzled” instead of confessing anger or self focus before the Lord. We are lazy and do not work hard to keep our house clean and say, “That’s just not my thing” or “I just didn’t have time,” even though we made time for watching TV or browsing the Internet. We snap at our husbands and then make excuses, “Well, I had a long day.” Or “You have no idea what my day was like.” We gossip and say, “I just needed to vent.”

And the list goes on.

At the end of the day, as hard as it may be to imagine, God doesn’t look at your vacuumed floors or your color coded closet (if someone out there has one of those), he looks at your heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

Were you faithful with the time you had? Were you faithful to confess sin? Love your husband? Love your children?

God doesn’t call you to be perfect, but He does call you to be faithful. He calls you to call sin, sin, and to love Him with all your heart, soul, and strength and love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

And while you will never do these things perfectly, you have a faithful God who will grow you as you try.

When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.

When things aren’t the way you want them to be young mother, run to the Faithful One, and find your perfect acceptance in Him.

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A Place to Stand: When Life Gets Wobbly

IMG_1522“Help, Momma, help!” I heard a little voice calling me in desperation from the kitchen. I quickly dropped the laundry I was folding and ran to see what perilous situation my two year old had gotten into. Much to my surprise, she appeared to be in no danger at all. She was standing on a very small step stool leaning against the countertop. “What’s wrong, AudreyKate?” I asked. “Help!” she said again, her little voice filled with fear. And then I saw it. The stool wobbled ever so slightly. One of the legs was marginally shorter than the others; causing a miniscule tilt and making her feel unstable. Before I could say anything to AudreyKate, her little voice repeated words that were about to come out of my mouth, “It’s okay, momma gots you.”

I went back to my laundry pile and thought about her “desperate” situation. She wasn’t really in imminent danger, and yet she felt like she was. In that moment, she needed me. I was her stability. Not only my presence, but also the words I’d spoken to her in the past.

I couldn’t help but apply it to my own life. There are times when I am just like that, wobbling for some little reason and in need of stability. Sometimes the fear and emotions are legitimate, other times, they are negative and sinful patterns of thought.

As women, we are often tempted to be driven by our emotions. We can “feel” so many things. Our language is often littered with “I feel, I felt, I was feeling.” But in times where we are “feeling” a lot, the last thing we need to do is try and steady ourselves with more feelings. That will only lead us into greater despair. In moments of instability (whether caused by circumstances out of our control or our own sinfulness), we need something firm to stand on. We need solid truth.

We need Someone to steady us.

This doesn’t come by just muttering a small prayer, though God can certainly use that. Real change comes from the very words of God. That is how He steadies us and transforms our hearts to rely on Him.

When we feel overwhelmed, we need to open up our Bible to Proverbs 16:9 or Psalm 28:7, where God tells us that He is the one who gives wisdom to make wise decisions and promises to help us in our time of need. When we are tempted to worry, we will find comfort in 1 Peter 5:7, where we are commanded to trust Him. When we feel afraid, we must recall that God is with us and can and will help us as He says Psalm 145:18. When we are grieving, Philippians 4:6-7 and Isaiah 63:9 tell us that God is the comforter and will give us peace as we set our minds on Him and His Word.

When our world is tottering, we need more than an inspirational quote or a watered down paraphrase of a Bible verse. We need something and Someone much stronger than that. We need to go to the source. The solid Rock. And when we meditate and memorize the words of truth, and sometimes even say it aloud, we will be steadied. We will be led to confess our sin. We will find footing during trial. And our roots will grow deep, so that even the strong winds cannot make us wobbly. For “they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Is. 40:31).”

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Before You Were Born

Processed with VSCOcam with x1 presetToday I share over at the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission regarding the sanctity of human life. I tell a little bit of what my mom went through when she was pregnant with me, the meaning behind my name, and God’s grace in preserving my life. God has used the faith of my parents and His gracious care for me before I was born, to help shape the way I view life in the womb.

I hope it’s an encouragement to you.

You can read it here:

Before You Were Born

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a letter, a song, and a story that keeps being told

photo-98Last September, I shared about the significance of the song, It Is Well With My Soul, in our family’s life. So I shouldn’t have been surprised today when I got a phone call from Grant, telling me the church he attended (Cornerstone Baptist Church) sang It Is Well during the worship service this morning. He was in Detroit for the weekend and today is the Sunday following the anniversary of his dad’s death (27 years ago). I also shouldn’t have been surprised when Grant’s mom, Susan, sent us a text late last night telling us they had sung it in church in Texas. Every year, around the anniversary of Grant’s dad’s death, It Is Well is sung in church. And every year, it takes me by surprise. Today, the Lord showed us once again that he is a Father to the fatherless, He never forgets, and that no matter where we are, He is there.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation.” – Psalm 68:5

Here is what I wrote last September:

it is well

It was August of 1986. The words above were the opening line of the last letter Grant’s dad, Kelly, wrote to his wife, Susan. It was just a couple weeks before his tragic plane crash. Kelly wrote the letter from California while attending a Marine Corps training exercise. When Grant’s mom read Kelly’s letter, she thought it unusual that he started the letter with the words to a hymn but for some reason she tucked the letter in a safe place, not fully knowing how much she would come to treasure it. After Kelly’s death, Susan clung to Kelly’s words in her grief, knowing that Kelly’s soul was with the Lord.

It was as if Kelly knew she would need to read those words one day. And when Kelly’s body was lost at sea, Susan was reminded that even though her sorrow was as the sea billows roll, her husband’s soul was with God.

Not only did Kelly, pen those words to his wife, but to his parents as well.it is well 2

It Is Well With My Soul was sung at Kelly’s memorial service and over the years, it has comforted Grant around the anniversary of his dad’s death. “It’s crazy,” Susan told me, “but almost every time Kelly’s anniversary has fallen on a Sunday we have sung It Is Well in church.”

Right after Grant and I were married, Kelly’s anniversary fell on a Sunday. We were in Texas visiting Grant’s family. It Is Well was sung during Sunday morning worship. The tears just streamed down our faces as we felt God’s presence there with us.

For those who know us (or read this blog), you know the story of Grant’s dad, Kelly. I wrote extensively about it in Texas Heart. You can also watch a short video about it here.

Today marks the 26th anniversary of Kelly’s death. It’s crazy to think that this year Kelly will have been dead as long as he lived (he was 26 when he died). In the past 26 years of Grant’s life, God has been incredibly faithful.

God has showed His faithfulness in so many ways and through so many people. Grant and I were reminded of God’s care today as we remembered Kelly’s death along with his parents who are visiting us.

I stayed home from church today with Evangeline. I received a text message from Grant while he was in church:

They played It Is Well in church. Daddy’s favorite song.

I sent my mom a text a little later telling her that today marked the 26th anniversary. I told her about the song.

She wrote back one word:

Sovereign

I knew what she meant. She meant that God is sovereign. That nothing happens outside of His sovereign hand. It Is Well wasn’t sung in church by chance. God knew today marks the anniversary of Kelly’s death. He hadn’t forgotten the significance of this day in Grant’s life.

Mom sent me another text a little later:

Dad quoted a verse from It Is Well in his sermon this morning.  Then we sang it at the end of the service. So if y’all had not moved, it would have been sung no matter what.

My dad didn’t remember that today was the anniversary, but the Lord did. As Grant and I reflect on Kelly’s legacy today, we are abundantly thankful that we have a God who cares about us deeply and a God who remembers.

While this life is fragile, our souls have an anchor. Through His redemption, we can say confidently as Kelly once did, “It is well with my soul.” 

Posted on by castleberryhearts

Worth Your Singleness

ImageGrant wrote an article on singleness today at CBMW. It’s funny, neither of us write that often, but we happened to both write something the same week!

Grant’s piece made me think of some of my dear friends who are single but long to be married. Even though it’s hard, they are committed to living every day to the glory of God.

If you are a single man (or woman) I think this post will encourage your heart greatly.

Worth Your Singleness

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

Posted on by castleberryhearts

The Pain is Worth It

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Today I shared over at CBMW about both the pain and the joy that come with motherhood. If you read this blog, you will probably recognize it, it’s a modified version of something I wrote last year.

My post is part of a series on childbirth that is beginning on the women’s channel of CBMW, so I would encourage you to read the upcoming posts. I’m sure you will be greatly encouraged!

The Needle and the Joy