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The Face of God

I was cleaning out the trunk of my car this morning and I found this sermon on a CD. Grant’s mom sent it to me when Grant and I were dating. Grant gave this sermon in the summer of 2004, when he was just barely 20 years old!
I listened to it this morning and smiled because I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time I heard it. I am so thankful to be married to a man who tells me so often that he just loves God’s Word so much. I am praying for God to raise up more young men who desire to be pastors and teachers of His Word. And if we are ever blessed with sons, I pray that they would have a heart and love for God’s Word.

I especially love his armadillo story 🙂

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A Double Rainbow

I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about what our life will be like in just a few weeks with our baby girl. I was thinking about how I’ll be waking up every few hours to take care of her.
It suddenly occurred to me that I needed a rocking chair for our bedroom. I already found a glider for the nursery upstairs, but since I’m planning on keeping our little girl in our bedroom for a while, I will need something to rock her in downstairs.
I realized I must have woken Grant up when I saw him sit up and check the clock.

“Grant, I think we need a rocker for our room,” I whispered.
He mumbled something about how he could bring the glider from the nursery upstairs down into our bedroom.
“Oh, okay, good idea.” I hadn’t thought of that.
We both went back to sleep.
Later that morning I was talking on the phone with my mom as she was downtown running errands. I told her about my rocking chair idea and Grant’s suggestion to move the glider downstairs for a while.
“You know,” she said, “You ought to check Craigslist and see if there is anything on there that would work for your bedroom, that way you have a chair upstairs and downstairs.“
I got off the phone and typed in “rocking chair” into the local Craigslist search engine.
A beautiful and comfortable looking antique rocker popped up. It was located in downtown Beaufort and was super affordable. I called my mom and she offered to stop by and take a look at it since she was downtown anyway.
A few minutes later I got a call back from her, “GraceAnna, it’s gorgeous and so comfortable. You will absolutely love it and it goes with your house so well. The pictures online didn’t do it justice.”

Before I knew it, my mom had brought the rocker over to the house and we put it in the bedroom.
I sat in it and marveled. I couldn’t believe that just a few hours after thinking about needing a rocker, I had a beautiful one exactly where I had desired to have one.
I sat and marveled because God is just so good sometimes. I marveled because He provides the little things. I marveled because He heard me whisper in the dark last night.
As I rocked, I thought about God’s abundant blessings in my life. I thought about a whole list of prayers that He’s answered above and beyond what I asked or hoped.

I thought specifically about my wedding day.
The weather on the day that Grant and I got married was beautiful.
But, there was a short time at our reception, where the sky clouded over and it rained. It wasn’t a hard rain, but it was enough of a rain where guests crowded under the branches of the live oaks and under the white tents to keep from getting wet.

Rain is never what any bride wants. I had prayed so hard for no rain.
But just as soon as the rain started, it stopped. I then noticed that guests were staring out at the marsh.
I looked out over the water, and to my delight and amazement, there was the most beautiful rainbow.
Grant and I walked down on the dock to look at it.
I held my brand new husband’s hand. I had prayed for him. I had waited for him. I had kept myself pure for him. And God had brought me him.
GOD, God had brought me this man. And now, I felt like God was showing His presence at our wedding.
I thought the day couldn’t get any better. But then, as I gazed at the rainbow, I saw something else. Another faint rainbow. And I realized that it was a double rainbow. I’d never seen a double rainbow in my entire life.

Our God is an amazing God.
So, as I sat and rocked this afternoon in my new (old) rocker. I thanked God. I thanked Him for providing good things.
I thanked Him for not just providing rainbows, but double ones.

“O LORD, you are my God;

I will exalt you; I will praise your name,

for you have done wonderful things,

plans formed of old, faithful and sure.” – Is. 25:1


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Great Expectations

Expectations can be a very dangerous thing. Expectations, are at times, necessary and good; but if they are unrealistic or placed incorrectly on others, they can become huge stumbling blocks in our lives.
We all have expectations. We have expectations for ourselves, for our husbands, for our family, our friends, and even from God. We judge people based on these expectations; and if they are not met, we are often hurt, upset, and disappointed at the person who failed to meet them.
Most of the time, we never stop to consider whether our expectations were actually realistic or right to begin with.
So why am I writing about expectations right before Christmas? Well, because I really want to spend time with Grant. I have had expectations about things I want to do with him and times I want to spend with him around Christmas.
I expected that we’d get to have fires in the fireplace, go for walks in our neighborhood, and go to church together. I expected that we would somehow be able to eat dinner together. And yet, with his insanely busy schedule, these expectations that I have, cannot be met.
At the end of a day, sometimes I feel sad that we can’t do these things together. But the thing is, I should know better. I know that my expectations for these things at this stage in our lives are unrealistic. And yet, I still have them. I know that Grant is in the United States Marine Corps serving our country and that his particular job right now is extremely strenuous. This is the season we are in our lives right now. It’s just the way it is. And it won’t be like this forever.
But here’s the sad thing about expectations. We often allow them to get in the way of what God is doing in our lives. We dwell on our unmet expectations instead of asking God to show us what He wants us to learn from the experience or situation that is turning out differently than we imagined.
I’m not the first person to have unmet expectations. Over 2,000 years ago there were a lot of people who had expectations about the coming Messiah. They expected Him to be an impressive and inspiring leader who would set the Jews free from Roman rule and bring political freedom. They expected the Messiah to be a triumphant and majestic king fit for royalty.
But Jesus wasn’t what they expected. He wasn’t what they expected at all. Just read the book of John (my favorite Gospel to read in December). Jesus came from a poor family and was born in a stable. He was humble and not much to look upon.
It was the greatest reversal of all time. The King of the Universe being welcomed into the world by shepherds and animals.
And on top of all that, Jesus’ message during his adult ministry was hard.

{Therefore the Jews were grumbling about Him, because He said, “I am the bread that came down out of heaven.” They were saying, ‘Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does He now say, ‘I have come down out of heaven’?” – John 6:41-42}
{. . .As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. – vs. 66}

He just didn’t meet their expectations, and so they missed Him all together. They missed God Incarnate. Their “great” expectations caused them to miss what was truly great.
Those who truly saw Jesus, listened and believed in Him, not in their own ideas of Him. They had to lay aside all of their own expectations, and embrace Him for all that He was and is.
I don’t know what your expectations are this Christmas, or who you may have put them on; but I encourage you to not to get so wrapped up over certain things that you miss the ways in which God is trying to show Himself to you.
Don’t miss Him this Christmas. I don’t want to. He wants to reveal Himself to you in greater ways than you could ever expect.

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Sunrises and Sunsets

I really love this time of year. I love the change from summer to fall. Really, I just love it. I always have.

Grant and I were in Yuma last year, and there was no fall, so I feel like I am enjoying it anew this year.

I went for a run this morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed to go, but after a long debate with the alarm clock, I got up and got out. As I stepped out on the screen porch, I was immediately greeted by the cool, fall air, and I was so glad I got up.
It was still kind of dreary as I ran down our street; but when I turned the corner, I saw the sun rising over the water. The sun lit up everything, and I immediately felt warmer. And then, in the marsh grass, I saw a deer walking towards me.
I stopped running and stood still to watch her. Her hide matched the marsh grass perfectly and I was surprised that I had spotted her. She continued to walk in my direction through the mud and reeds.
I stared at her, the marsh, and the sun, trying to take in the beauty of the morning.
Suddenly, I saw her look up, stop still, and stare at me. I was caught.
I heard runners coming up behind me and I knew it was time to get going.
As I reached the dock in our neighborhood and starting stretching, I began to think about Grant’s lesson from this past week in Sunday School.
Grant talked about how our knowledge of certain subjects is able to grow based on how well we diligently study.
For example, you can learn as much or as little about Algebra based on how well you apply yourself (and your mental capacity, I suppose). Yes, it may be complicated, but the extent on how well you know Algebra is based on your own study of it, and nothing else.
But with God, it’s much different. We are only able to know God by what He has chosen to reveal to us about Himself. As we open and read Scripture, God shows us who He is. Through His Word, He opens up His heart to us, and as we apply our minds to what He has revealed, our knowledge of Him grows deeper.
One of the ways God has revealed Himself to us is through creation. And because God has given us His Word, we are able to interpret and understand the world He created.

Grant talked about how sunrises and sunsets display God’s glory and His character. If I am seeing God behind every sunrise and sunset, my joy in these things is only going to increase over time. I am not finding my satisfaction in the sunrise alone, the sunrise is only the means to enjoying God.
As my understanding and love of God grows, so should my joy in sunrises and sunsets.
I thought about this on my run because as a little girl I always loved this time of year.
But too often, important things that we love as children get overlooked as we become adults. They just aren’t as interesting to us anymore.
But this shouldn’t be true for Christians. Each year our love for God should grow, and so should our enjoyment of the world He created.
We should love the change in the weather, the sunrises, and the sunsets, because our love for the God who made them has grown since the year before.
So, as I made my way back home, I thanked God for being the Creator of the morning, the sunrise, the marsh grass, and my deer friend.
And I hope that on my next run, I’ll enjoy it even more.
Psalm 65:8-13
Praise is due to you, O God . . .
those who dwell at the ends of the earth are in awe at your signs.
You make the going out of the morning and the evening to shout for joy.

You visit the earth and water it;
you greatly enrich it;
the river of God is full of water;
you provide their grain,
for so you have prepared it.
You water its furrows abundantly,
settling its ridges,
softening it with showers,
and blessing its growth.
You crown the year with your bounty;
your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.
The pastures of the wilderness overflow,
the hills gird themselves with joy,
the meadows clothe themselves with flocks,
the valleys deck themselves with grain,
they shout and sing together for joy.

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These Days

I’m learning a lot about the Marine Corps and what it means on a daily basis for Grant and me. I think somehow, since we got married, I’ve been looking for the loopholes in Grant’s job. I think things like, well if Grant gets stationed here, than maybe they won’t send him to Afghanistan. I am often playing little scenarios in my mind of how we can get more time together, or how his job is going to look over the next year, etc.

But I’m learning more and more that I just can’t play those games. If Grant calls me and tells me he thinks he might be home for dinner, I have to take it totally as a “might” and be ready to re-warm dinner at 9:30pm. If Grant gets a call the night before that says he has to be at work at 3am, I can’t fight that, it’s necessary.
I watched my husband work 18 hour days last week without a single word of complaint. I watched him sacrifice the thing he loves most – studying God’s Word – for making sure our future military is strong.
I often feel my own heart thinking things like, “Why is the Marine Corps so tough?” “Why do they do this to people?”
But then I remember that it has to be tough. These men who serve are strong for a reason. They are ready to defend America. Not everyone is willing to do something like that.
When Grant and I were dating, I asked him why he joined the Marine Corps. He told me that he felt an obligation as an American to give back to his country and to help defend the freedom that he so freely enjoys.
There aren’t a whole lot of young people saying that kind of thing these days.
This morning, Grant left early. Being the amazing wife that I am, I didn’t hear the alarm clock and woke up only as he kissed me good-bye.
About an hour or so later, I got a phone call in the dark. “GraceAnna,” Grant whispered, “I hate to tell you this, but I forgot my combat boots this morning and I need you to bring them to me.“
I wanted to roll over in bed and pretend that I was dreaming. Instead I said, “Are you sure that you are missing them?” Even though I knew full well that he was.
I got out of bed and went to the closet and pulled out his enormous boots. I remember asking Grant one day, “Why do you have to wear these gigantic things? It’s not like you are going to battle today!” Grant responded, “We always have to be ready.”

I drove onto Parris Island, and I saw Marines everywhere in the dawn light. Some were recruits, some were men who chose to enlist, and some were officers. I suddenly felt silly for feeling so tired. I felt silly for playing all my little scenario games.
I pulled into the parking lot where Grant was. He bounded up in his green shorts and his Series Commander PT shirt with a huge grin on his face.
“Thank you GraceAnna, you saved my life!”
As I pulled away, I thought, “No, thanks for saving mine.”


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May It Be Said of Us

As I sat in the kitchen this morning having my quiet time, I tried to turn to the book of Ruth, and I sort of lost control of the massive study Bible Grant gave me. Instead of opening where I wanted it to, it opened to the cover page. There, I saw the letter Grant wrote me when he gave me the Bible for Christmas in 2008.

I hadn’t read the letter since he gave me the Bible, and I reread his words.
GraceAnna,

I noticed that one of the verses that you underlined (in your Bible) was Colossians 4:2-4. It reads, “Continue steadfastly in prayer being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the Word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison – that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.”

(Grant went on to write about my time serving with Campus Crusade and how he was praying that these truths would become real in my life. I was still working at Duke at this time).
…I beg of you, to not grow cold in your faith and love for the Gospel! As your brother in Christ, and Lord willing, your future husband, I want you to know that I will encourage you every step of the way, and be praying for you, that your faith in Christ would be continually strengthened….

…I pray that at the end of the day, that 2 Timothy 4:7 may be said of us.

…be encouraged, because God is good and His love is overflowing.

~Grant

So, as I sat alone in the kitchen, listening to the hum of the dishwasher and the washing machine, my heart was encouraged. And I was reminded how much I need my husband. I was also reminded much we need others to encourage us in our walk of faith. We can’t do it alone.
And I do pray, that one day, 2 Timothy 4:7 would be said of us.
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A Quilt

When Grant and I arrived in Iwakuni shortly after we got married, we made our home in the Bachelor Officer’s Quarters (the BOQ). Our time there was going to be short (7 weeks), so it wasn’t necessary for us to move into married housing.

It was late and I was jet-lagged when I first walked into what was going to be our short-term home. I didn’t say a word as I glanced around the apartment that had 3 months of dust build up and was filled with stark military furniture. I was trying in my head to think of some way I could make it homey, but I was failing miserably. I know it’s not the greatest,” I heard Grant say, “but it’s only seven weeks.” His voice had a tone of disappointment mixed with worry in it as he searched my face for a look of approval. “Grant, it’s just fine. It doesn’t matter to me at all, and it’s only seven weeks,” I heard myself saying though I knew my tone didn’t come out as cheery as I had tried to make it sound.

The next day Grant and I made a trip to the PX (military mall) to pick up a few things we needed. As we made our way over to the homegoods section to get some hangers, we passed a beautiful quilt that was on the end of an aisle. Grant saw me eye it and he asked, “Do you like that?” “Yes, it’s beautiful,” I replied. Then I pointed out how it would be silly to buy a quilt here since we had brand new bedding in the states. We walked away and after getting the hangers we began to head to the check-out. I was busy looking at things as we walked out and realized that Grant was no longer next to me. “Grant, where are you?” I said as I turned around to see him standing there – all six feet of him – and in his arms was the quilt. “Grant…you don’t need…” but my voice trailed off and I felt a few tears rise to the surface. He smiled at me and walked squarely to the cash register and purchased the quilt and the hangers.
Later on that day I put it on the bed and I was amazed at what a difference it made in the apartment. It made it homey. Grant came over and joined me in my adoration of it. “Grant, I didn’t need this quilt, I just want you to know,” I told him. “I know you didn’t,” he replied. “But in some ways you did need it GraceAnna. And that’s okay.”

I didn’t argue with him. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself. He was right, the quilt really helped me. It helped me feel at home in a far away place. Thank you, Grant.
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Aimee Powell

When I signed onto my Facebook a couple days ago I was greeted with the devastating news that a young girl my age, Aimee Powell, had passed away in a tragic car accident.

I didn’t know Aimee, but I have some friends who knew her very well. Amy was 25 years old and a teacher at a Christian school in Charlotte, NC. I had seen photos pop up of her on facebook through mutual friends over the past couple years and always thought she was the sweetest looking girl (in the pic above she is the girl on the far right – dear Elizabeth Clemmer in the middle). She’s one of those people that when you look at their picture – you can just tell that they have a beautiful heart.

When I read the news story covering Aimee’s tragic death – her heart was confirmed through what people said of her.

“Aimee stands out as a beautiful person who loved the Lord, who loved kids…The Good Shepherd knew her by name. She knew his voice and now she’s in a place with no more tears. She has eternal life and that’s the most comforting thing” – Pastor Dave Kulp

I sent Grant an email telling him about Aimee and how sad and grieved I was about it even though I had never known her. Grant said, “GraceAnna, that could have been you or me. Life is so fragile.” I know his words are so true. The past few months we have had so many conversations about how short life is. I think one of the reasons we have discussed it so much is because Grant is almost the age his father was when he was taken in a plane crash.

When I read the news about Aimee, I was so reminded that living for Jesus Christ is all that matters. Getting to know Him is of upmost importance. When Grant and I were dating, one of the things I remember him telling me is how he wanted to devote his life in service of the Lord and in getting to know Him better. He also told me that he would treasure every moment that God gave him with me because life is so short. That spoke to me. “So,” he reasoned, “we should get married as soon as possible.” 🙂

God has given us each a certain number of days to live (Psalm 139:16). Aimee’s life was not cut short. God gave her 25 beautiful years of life. And I know, that she lived those for Him. To some he gives 3 x 25, but to others (like Aimee or Grant’s dad) just 25 or 26. And from what I have seen – people like Aimee have made more of a difference for Christ in 25 years than many Christians who live to be 50 or 75.

I wish there was something I could do to ease the unbearable pain that Aimee’s family (and those who knew Aimee) are going through. If you wouldn’t mind – would you say a prayer for her parents right now? They are missionaries in Taiwan and have flown back to the states to bury their precious girl.

I hesitated to write about Aimee because I know there is nothing I could ever say to do her justice or even began to commemorate who she was. I didn’t know her. But she has been on my heart. I am sad. I wish this story wasn’t true even though I know it was God’s plan for Aimee and she is so happy right now. Her words that were published in a news report say what I could never began to try and say about her (Aimee expressed these thoughts when she was going through the hiring process at Southlake Christian).

“I have had a love for children and teaching since I can remember. As a girl, I helped with summer Vacation Bible School and taught my Chinese friends English weekly. In high school, I was a teacher’s aid in kindergarten, third and fifth grades. Most of my summers during college were spent tutoring Chinese students who struggled with English. It was at that time that I saw my love for teaching children increase. Each day was a new day to model Jesus for my students, and I saw it as a ministry.”

Thank you Aimee for modeling Jesus.

This song came to mind when I thought about those grieving Aimee’s death:
I Have A Shelter

The news report:
http://www.wbtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=11857390