I pulled my two-year old onto my lap several nights ago. It was past her bedtime and it had been a long day. Normally, our days together are so fun and fly by way too quickly. I can hardly keep up with all there is to do with two little girls ages two and under.
But on that day, well, it had been a hard day. I had overslept my alarm and felt behind the moment the day began. My two-year old obviously felt the same way. Every little thing became a struggle. Our trip to the library started and ended in disobedience. Lunch was a battle. And nap-time was strongly protested. Grant was busy, busy, and busy. I felt tired.
And so there we were, finally, at bedtime. I looked at her and she looked at me. “It’s time to go to sleep, AudreyKate,” I whispered as I held her close. “Rock you, minute?” she asked.
I told her to lay her head on my shoulder and we rocked. I was so tired that I didn’t want to sing our usual songs. Instead, the words to a lullaby I’d long forgotten came to my lips. It was a song my mom sang to me when I was a little girl.
Where are you going, my little one, little one
Where are you going, my baby, my own?
Turn around and you’re two, turn around and you’re four
Turn around and you’re a young girl going out of my door
As I began to sing, most of the words and tune came back to me. AudreyKate lay completely still as she listened to me sing this new song.
Turn around, turn around
Turn around and you’re a young girl going out of my door
As we rocked back and forth, memories of my own mother singing this lullaby flooded my mind. I always felt so safe and secure in her arms and I thought she had the most beautiful voice in the world.
Even as a child, the words to this song made me feel a pang of sadness. I would imagine a little girl growing up and leaving her mom.
Where are you going, my little one, little one
Little sunsuits and petticoats, where have you gone?
Turn around and you’re tiny, turn around and you’re grown
Turn around and you’re a young wife with babes of your own
Turn around, turn around
Turn around and you’re a young wife with babes of your own
As we rocked together, I couldn’t believe things had come full circle. I felt like I was just the little girl in the song, but now I am the “young wife with babes of your own.” The song had come true.
And one day, Lord willing, it will come true for my daughters.
I held AudreyKate tighter as we rocked and I listened to her little voice sing, “tun awoun, tun awoun…” A tear trickled down my cheek as I thought about her growing up so very quickly.
My mom has often reminded me that in mothering, the days are long, but the years are short.
I want to treasure even the long days, because one day I will turn around, and they will be gone.
As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Psalm 103: 17-19
Ahhhh!! After having one of those days myself, this brought tears to my eyes and encouragement to my soul!! I love you, dear friend!!
Beautifully written, GraceAnna. How I would love to know that tune. I think I might try and google it. 😉 I often come to the end of days with the same sentiments and the same knowledge that we ARE to enjoy and treasure these days and the bittersweet of it all. That they DO pass by. That they ARE indeed harder some days than others. I’m so thankful for other Mama’s going through the same race on the same road somewhere along that road. Sometimes they are in front cheering us on. Sometimes we are the ones in front, cheering others on. And thanks be to God for the ones side by side us too. It’s so good to know the minor “struggles” of parenting are not prayed out alone. This parenting stuff is tough and many days I just feel worn out from the unseen battle waging against my children’s hearts. (And my own.) And yet I have confidence in knowing that His mercies are new each day. That He is refining us in the process of raising these precious souls He has entrusted us with. And so we PRESS ON!
So glad to find your blog, GraceAnna! I had thought you just weren’t posting anymore. Love this tender moment you described and yes, I can say that I’ve been there too. Recently, I realized that my oldest will be nine this fall and that is half way to 18 and I just want to make the most of every moment we have together…it is going way too fast –
Love,
Monica
This is so sweet GraceAnna. Makes me never want to let go of Jack.
Thank you for the gentle reminder… these days will be gone in a blink….
Thank you for the encouragement GraceAnna.
I always enjoy reading your posts because they are so refreshing!
I wept like a baby as I read this. I have two girls of my own; they are now 14 and 11. The years are very short!! I still treasure every moment we have together, knowing that I only have a short number of years left with them under my roof. As a mother, some of the greatest rewards are watching the years of sowing come to fruition as they develop into godly young ladies.