I put together a beautiful nursery for our oldest, AudreyKate, months before she emerged from my womb. I chose a soft green color for her walls and an artist from our church painted the most beautiful and delicate birds “perching” in different corners of her room. With each passing week of my pregnancy I would add another finishing touch to her space. It was a way for me to say, “You are loved” before she was even born.
She was in that nursery 17 months before God called us away from our yellow house with the screened in porch and my “kitchen sink river view.”
I didn’t know how much I had to learn as we drove miles away from the coast I’d loved since I was a child.
Our first few weeks in our apartment were hard for me. The place seemed dark inside, even on sunny days. A grandeur cliff blocks much of the sunlight along with the limited windows that come with living in an apartment.
I quoted lines from Great Is Thy Faithfulness to comfort my soul on those new and unfamiliar mornings.
Of course, hardly anything from AudreyKate’s old nursery fit in the girls’ new nursery (yes girls, Evangeline was born 2 months after we moved).
I rearranged then gave things away.
Rearranged and gave more away.
All those little touches of love I had put up before seemed to be walking right out the door. This wasn’t the sweet “crowded but full of love” seminary home I had pictured.
I became incredibly thankful for the unusually spacious closets in our new place.
It was a life changing moment the day I discovered the pack n play fit perfectly inside. There was even room for a fan to keep fresh air circulating with the door cracked.
I got rid of more of my things.
My new nursery.
And so it became for our sweet Charles too. No baby blue bedding and no place to hang the “cow jumped over the moon” print I had been saving since my sister-in-law passed it down to me.
Not much room.
But just enough.
It is amazing what tiny walls can do for a crowded heart.
Moving out selfishness and reminding me that sacrifice is not just something someone else does when they battle cancer or move overseas.
Sacrifice is what God has called me to right now. Whatever it is.
His call is resoundingly and often difficultly clear, “Follow me.”
And when I do, I realize that true joy isn’t found in what I have or don’t have or what I long for, but in how I serve.
Because that is what Christianity is truly all about.
His exultation was not in fan fair or “number of followers” or “likes,” but on a wooden cross of shame.
He became poor so that we might become rich.
He “came to die.”
There was a song I sang as a child that went like this:
What can I give Him poor as I am? If I were a shepherd I would bring Him a lamb. If I were a wiseman I would sure do my part. What can I give Him? I will give Him my heart.
No sacrifice is too great for Him. But none is too small.
Because it’s not about the nursery, or the lack of space, or whatever it is for you.
It’s about your heart.
You are LOVED.
And with Him there is always plenty of room.