I collapsed into bed last night, truly feeling like I didn’t have one ounce of energy left in me. It had been a great day, but filled with the normal challenges and joys of a day raising young children and running a home. My day had started extra early too with my five-year-old climbing in bed between his Dad and me, whispering about how if he didn’t have socks on his feet, his “toes would be scared.”
I stumbled out of bed and to the dresser, pulling out a pair of my running socks and donning them on his little feet. “You’re fine now, see?” He slipped back to sleep and I lay in the dark, unable to drift back off myself. Besides the extra cup of coffee I needed around 2pm, getting up early ended up being the biggest blessing of my day. I got so much accomplished even before the kids got up. Why don’t I do that more often?
But now, getting up early didn’t feel so glamorous as I felt overtired and exhausted climbing into bed after the extra long day. And in that moment, laying there, I caught myself thinking that it was a bad thing that I was tired. I worked so hard. I really pushed myself too hard. Today was long. Staying on task today was tiring.
Just like that, I felt the Lord nudge my heart and bring the words of Titus 2 to the forefront of my mind, “So train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Working at home. Working.
The day had been hard work. No doubt. Being self-controlled and exercising patience with my children in some moments had pushed me beyond myself to really rely on the Lord.
Instead of negativity, my heart was filled with thankfulness. God, thank YOU that I have such meaningful work to do. Thank you that I barely had a moment today to be idle or lazy, but that I am healthy and able to work hard at work worth doing. What a privilege and a gift to raise and teach my children! Thank you that I am utterly exhausted because I did what you called me to today.
Besides battling against my own desire to often choose the easiest route, instead of the most faithful route (regardless if it’s hard or easy), the world often sends the blaring message that when it comes to motherhood, I should do my best to avoid anything that is difficult or challenges me to my limits.
But God’s Word reminds me that meaningful WORK is what He has called me to do. And also that His grace is readily sufficient, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”
And just like that, exhausted and tired, I felt rest too. Being tired, working hard, laying it all on the line, coming to God again and again for His inexhaustible grace, that is where I want to live. That is how I want to lay my head down. I am so thankful!
This morning His mercies are new, and I thank Him for the work He has given me. A work that exhausts and exhilarates me. A work that is not for this life only, but will last forever. A work worth doing.
“I have one desire now — to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” – Elisabeth Elliot