I love the newest baby and kid gadgets.

The BOB double jogger is literally like an extra limb for me. I have no idea what I’d do without it.

The Joovy stroller is great for in and out of small stores and restaurants.

The Moby wrap was a part of every single outfit I wore for the first four months of each of my daughters’ lives.

The Ergo was a lifesaver when my babies outgrew the Moby.

The bassinet was a blessing.

The baby swing was a “sleep giver” for my first child and for me during her first few months of life.

We just got a trundle bed and I’m amazed at what an ingenious invention it is for small rooms.

We are planning on buying  a minivan for our next vehicle purchase. Have you driven one? They are the most amazing things. Ever. Double sliding doors. A Mary Poppins style trunk. Cup-holders in all the right places.

Amazing.

However, as much as I love the latest and greatest mothering inventions, I never want to overly rely on them or ever fall into the dangerous trap of believing that having them makes me a better mother.

I can be tempted to sometimes think, Wow if I just had ….. (fill in the blank), my life would be so much easier! If I had that, I would be a better mother! 

It is true, I am so thankful for many things I have that make my life much easier. My great grandmother and grandmother would have loved many of the gadgets I’m blessed to have.

My great grandmother had to tie her toddlers to the leg of a four poster bed to keep them from wandering off and getting hurt when she needed to complete a task. She didn’t have Bumbos or exersaucers or vibrating bouncy seats.

My grandmother had to set her babies in laundry baskets in the back seat of their car until the carseat was invented.

And for most of my grandmothers, cloth diapers weren’t merely an “eco friendly” or economical option. They had no choice. Cloth diapers it was.

If you’ve talked to your grandma or great grandma about what it was like raising little ones in her day, you’ve maybe been surprised like I was at just how very different things were “back then” than they are today.

Even my mom will sometimes say, “Wow, sure wish they had that around when I was raising y’all.”

I come from a line of strong women. And it had nothing to do with what they had or didn’t have (though they surely knew how to work hard).

There was so much they went without and they were no less wonderful mothers because of it.

And I often remind myself that I am no better a mother for it.

Yes, it does make life easier. And for the most part, safer too. We should be very thankful we don’t have to use a washboard to wash our clothes and hang them to dry every day like our great grandmothers did.

But I am not defined by how much (or for some, how little) things I have or don’t have.

The minivan (which I actually do embrace with all it’s mothering glory) won’t ever define me.

These things help me as a mother. They do not make me as a mother.

God has given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

He’s even provided exactly what I need materially to function well. He knows what I need and what I don’t need, and He has graciously provided.

There’s a verse I love that my sister-in-law, Chesed, reminded me of a couple years back and I loved how she related it to mothering:

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” -Psalm 20:7

When David wrote this Psalm, he was referring to the military equipment needed to fight in battle. Chariots and horses were essential to fight and defeat armies.

But King David made very clear that while he used horses and chariots to fight, he didn’t put his trust in them. There’s a big difference. He utilized them. But He trusted in his Savior, the One who is “love” and “justice” and “righteousness” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

Jeremiah 9 also says:

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understand and knows Me (vs 23).

All the things God has blessed me with as a mother, whether they be material things like trundle beds or bassinets or an awesome jogging stroller. These are tools. But they are not where my trust lies. My trust doesn’t lie in my mothering intuition, my stylish SUV (if I had one), or how put together (or not put together) I am.

My trust lies in Him.

He is the One who made the women I admire strong.

I want to always, always remind myself when I am tempted to rely on my own strength, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but I trust in the name of the Lord my God!”

Nations rise and fall. Gadgets are made and recalled. My wisdom wins and sometimes it miserably fails.

But there is One who is always there. And when I trust in Him, I rise and stand upright (Psalm 20:8).

And that’s something no minivan could ever do.

I got in bed last night a little earlier than usual. I set my alarm for an hour before I knew my girls would wake up in the morning. I love having time to spend in God’s Word before my day really gets going. It doesn’t always happen, but I’m thankful when it does.

I hadn’t been asleep for very long when I heard crying. It was my youngest. I rolled over and decided to let her cry it out for a bit. The crying continued long enough to wake Grant up, “GraceAnna, want me to go get her?”

“It’s fine. I’ll get her.” I rocked her for a little while and then climbed back into bed.

It hardly seemed like any time had gone by at all when I heard more crying. It was my oldest this time. She was crying in her bed and saying she needed to go potty. Potty? She never wakes up in the night to go potty. I tried to take her but she just kept crying for no apparent reason. “AudreyKate, what do you need?” I asked, my voice full of the frustration I was beginning to feel.

I don’t know how long we were trying to figure things out before Grant got up and asked, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“GraceAnna, y’all are both half asleep,” he said as he helped me get her settled.

I climbed back in bed and looked at the clock, it was 4am. I could still get a few hours of sleep before I needed to get up.

Before long I heard crying again. What’s going on tonight? 

It was Evangeline this time. She must be teething. 

I got up and put her in bed with us. She finally fell asleep laying on me. I closed my eyes until I was jolted awake by my alarm.

I reached over and turned that thing off as fast as I could. No, I’m not getting up early.

Unrealistic Expectations

This morning, after my nighttime extravaganza, I had to ask myself, why was I so frustrated? 

I realized it was because I had expected my girls to sleep through the night. I had expected to get a full night’s rest. I had expected to get up early.

And when my expectations weren’t met, it stirred up feelings of frustration toward the little people I love so dearly.

As I put the coffee on, I thought about how wrong my expectations had been. Anger often occurs when there are failed expectations. And I had unrealistic expectations for my sweet one and two year old. Just because they are generally good sleepers, doesn’t mean that they won’t ever wake up in the night or go through seasons of waking up a lot.

Time for a Tune-Up

When it comes to mothering, sometimes I feel like a car that needs to pull into the auto repair shop for a quick tune-up. In the daily busyness, I can often get a little misaligned in my perspective.

This “tune-up” time for me usually comes through the conviction of the Holy Spirit and time in God’s Word. Sometimes God uses my husband or a friend to whisper a word of truth that shows me where I’ve been a little off in my thinking.

Oh yeah, what was I thinking? What was I expecting? I am raising people who need to be cared for, trained, and taught!  It’s a full time job! Not a hobby! They are not a distraction from my tasks. They are my tasks! 

Last night, when I was frustrated, I had forgotten that mothering is a full time calling that includes the night shift.

When I was in college, I was a Resident Assistant in my dorm. Some weekends I would be “on call.” My phone would ring in the middle of the night and I would have to handle some sort of situation. Sometimes, it would be as simple as a resident being locked out of her room. But other times, it would be much more serious. One night, a student on my hall had alcohol poisoning. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt that night as I frantically called EMS and watched as they struggled to revive her.

Whenever I was on call as an RA and my phone rang in the night, I would jump out of bed and immediately pray and ask God to give me wisdom to handle whatever situation was headed my way. The same is true with mothering, if not more so. I shouldn’t be surprised when I’m woken up. I’m on call. Every night.

I need God’s help not just during the day but in the night watch too. And the amazing thing is, He’s always up. Those times when I call out to Him, I often think of Psalm 121 which says, “Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord . . . He who keeps Israel 
will neither slumber nor sleep.”

Park the Pram and Grab Some Carabineers

Those who expect mothering to be a walk in the park will be disappointed and frustrated when they discover that it’s more like a mountainous hike than anything else. Some days it winds through the most beautiful and sunny fields, but the journey also has its share of jagged cliffs and muddy valleys.

My daughter has a pink pram that she likes to use to take her dollies for walks. It’s perfect on the sidewalk, but whenever she tries to push it off-road she starts calling, “Momma, help me, momma!” The pram just isn’t sufficient for rough terrain.

Just like a hiker expects to encounter obstacles on the trail, I must remember that the journey of motherhood is more like rock climbing than a stroll.

God has called me to the great task of training and teaching little ones. They are dependent on me and it’s my joy to raise them. And as cute and adorable as they are, they are still sinners. And so am I. That’s a lot of sin. Life together isn’t as always as easy as pushing a pram. It takes sweat, hard work, much prayer, and reliance on God to be faithful. And I’m glad too. Because when I look to God for His strength, I see spectacular views that I never would have seen from the sidewalk.

If you are feeling a little weary and frustrated, maybe your expectations have been misaligned. Motherhood is not like a picture from a catalog. No, it’s so much better than that. It’s real. And God uses your sore muscles and chipped nails to grow you, make you call to Him louder, and watch in wonder as He uses you to help little hearts find the way to Him.

The day my parents left after I had my second child was hard. My daughters are only 18 months apart and my husband, Grant and I had just moved to a new city far away from any family.

My mom stayed with me for ten days as I got adjusted to having two.  My dad joined a few days later. But now, it was time for them to go.

I couldn’t keep the tears from falling as they drove away. Even though I had been at this for a little while, I felt like a brand new mom all over again.

Later that day, I decided to go to the grocery store. I pulled into the lot and looked at the two sweet faces in the back seat. Could I do this? 

And then I did what all mothers do. Regardless of how I felt in that moment, I made a plan of action and executed it.

With each push of the buggy through the grocery aisles, I felt more confident. I could do this. 

Before I knew it, I was heading home with a trunk full of groceries and two children safely strapped in the backseat. Thank you, God, I prayed. Thank you for that.

Unchartered Frontier

Becoming a mother is like embarking on unchartered territory or pioneering a new land. From the moment you find out you are pregnant, to the daily grind of running a house with little ones, there is so much unknown.

Even though millions of women have gone before you on this journey, it’s still new to you.

When you are expecting your first child, you don’t know what labor and delivery will be like. You wonder if you will be able to do it. How do women do it?

And when you bring your baby home from the hospital, you frantically realize that there is no instruction manual. That being a mom really is all up to you.

Then there is each new challenge along the way: figuring out how carseats and strollers hook & buckle, a manageable nap time routine, and whether you should rock your little one or let them cry it out.

With each new step, you do things you never thought you could. Before you know it, it’s second nature and the lady in the grocery store looks at you and says, “Wow, you have your hands full!” You smile and think, It’s not that hard. You’ve forgotten that not that long ago you were afraid to get out of the car.

And then you realize, motherhood has changed you. You are strong.

Strength in Weakness

Being a mother is not about having it all together. In fact, the moment that you think things are going pretty swell, is exactly the moment when something comes along that throws you for a loop. You are driven to your knees and like a new mom afraid to go in the grocery store you say, God please help me.

And He does. And you discover once again that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

When I was a brand new mom and the dishes were piled high or I was struggling with how to get our daughter to sleep, Grant would often whisper in my ear, “Be strong and courageous.” 

Those words helped me look beyond myself and what I thought I could handle, to God. He was and is the one who gives me strength for this task of motherhood. He will finish the good work He has started in me (Phil. 1:6). That includes every dirty diaper and each new step.

A Brave New Mom

Being a mother is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for the selfish.

But the problem is, most of us are faint of heart and most of us are selfish.

But that’s the amazing thing about God. He uses the weak things of this world to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:27). And when we call on Him in repentance and humility, He hears (2 Chron. 7:14).

And He makes us strong (Isaiah 40:31).

So, new mom, don’t be afraid. Turn to God. He will help you figure it out. He will be with you as you step into the unknown.

And to the mom who’s been at it a while, remember the One who helped you at the very beginning. He’s still there. And He delights in making the weak strong.

.

Isaiah 40:27-31

Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”?
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.