It was a long road trip.

12.5 hours to be exact. Oh, but that was just the actual driving part. 12. 5 hours if someone were to drive straight without getting stuck in traffic or stopping to use the bathroom or needing items such as food and water. 

Add those things plus two small children and Grant and I were looking at a much longer drive. More like 16 hours or longer. Thankfully we whittled it down to 14 hours after finally finding a route around construction and making as little stops as possible.

But nevertheless, we found ourselves driving on the interstate, late into the night, with two little people in the backseat who don’t sleep very well sitting straight up in car seats. Go figure?

I was feeling the tension rise in my soul as the road seemed to stretch continually before us and the tears seemed to escalate in the backseat. 

It also probably didn’t help that I was 8 weeks pregnant and in the thick of “morning” sickness.

Nor did it help that we left way later than planned because of a necessary doctor’s appointment.

These things were working against me. 

Including the stop for gas we had to make around 11pm when the girls were soundly sleeping.

Were soundly sleeping.

But now there was crying in the backseat and we were only in Texarkana. 

Thanks to a husband who knows how to make us both laugh and stay awake in the middle of the night on a quiet interstate, we finally made it. 

But when I woke the next morning, I felt tired. 

I went into the bathroom, closed the door, and looked up my “verse of the day” on my phone:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Thessalonians 5:16-18

I didn’t feel a lot of happiness in that moment as the “morning” sickness started returning, but those words brought joy to my soul. 

I thought about all the things the day before that had been out of my mothering control. The simplicity of the truth before me brought conviction and hope.

This was God’s will for me in Christ Jesus.

Dear Mom, Your Kids Are Fine

In motherhood, there are many things I cannot control. Even though I try to keep my children on consistent and healthy routines, there are times when plans and intentions and attitudes (including my own) fail.

I’ve found that the more I try to rely on my own strength instead of leaning on the Lord, the more I end up feeling defeated. 

As mothers, we have all felt exasperated or defeated from time to time. The times when we are traveling and things are all out of whack or our day goes completely NOT as planned and we feel the anxiety rising in our souls.

As I grow as a mom, my own mother’s words often ring in my ears. “GraceAnna, they are fine.” And in 99% of everyday cases, this is true.

My kids skipped their nap. They are fine. My kids had chocolate. Three times. They are fine. My kids went to bed really late and instead of sleeping in they woke up early. They are fine. My kids are whining in the backseat because they’ve been sitting there a while. They are fine. 

There are many scenarios every week when as a mom I can be tempted to worry and fret, when, majority of the time, my children are just fine.

The real question is: Mom, are you fine?

Dear Mom, Give Thanks

I knew it was no accident that morning standing alone in the dark bathroom that my “verse of the day” was 1 Thess 5:16-18. It was the Lord speaking to me: “GraceAnna, rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (emphasis mine).

God’s Word jolted me out of my self-sufficient attitude and turned my heart to my Savior. His Word was a spring of water in a dry place and a reminder that I don’t have to do this on my own. He will help me. 

God’s will for me was not to make sure my children never experience any disruption in their little lives or make sure they always keep their shoes on in public places. 

God’s will for me right now is to rejoice, pray, and give thanks.

Lord, thank you for giving me these children. What a gift!

Lord, I need your right now.

Lord, thank you for this situation that gives me an opportunity to teach my child about you (and teaches me to call to you for help!).

Lord, You are good.

These aren’t “super spiritual” prayers. These are the prayers of a mom who realizes she cannot mother in her own strength. These are the prayers of a mom who loves Jesus.

Dear Mom, there are more books out there than you have time to read on parenting. And many are so very helpful. But remember what He has said:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

And

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes me feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go to the heights.” Habakkuk 3:19

His Words are truth and they are life. 

Rejoice. Pray. Give thanks.  

For this, young mother, is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

I spend my days teaching a three year old and a one year old.

“Say, ‘Yes Ma’am.’”

“Honey, hold my hand.”

“Don’t whine. Mommy doesn’t respond to whining.”

We work on listening, sharing, being sweet, and first time obedience around here. No, I don’t count to three (“Oneeeee, twooooo, I’m almost to three!”). But I’ve had my share of repeating a command three times, so I might as well have been counting.

My heart has been overjoyed by the sweetness and love from my little girls.

“Mom, I love you so much. You’re my mother.”

“Mom, I obey.”

“Here you go, Evie,  you can play with it.”

And my heart has been overwhelmed and frustrated by bickering, delayed obedience, and whiny attitudes.

Some days are smooth sailing, and others are like charting through rough waters.

In all of these moments, I long for obedient children. Who doesn’t?

Obedient children are like fresh produce in a well tended garden.

They are joy (Proverbs 15:20).

But as much as I desire my children to obey me the first time I call, I want to always long for heart change even more.

I want to teach them the Gospel every. single. day.

“Honey, you are a sinner, that’s why it’s hard for you to obey. But Jesus came to die for sin. He died for Mommy’s sin.”

Because real fruit  is more than “Yes ma’am and No sir.” It goes much deeper than that.

It’s a heart that’s been completely changed by God. A heart that loves God. And even a young child can begin to understand what that means.

My three and one year old don’t comprehend the Gospel. But every time I teach them the importance of “Obeying Mommy,” I want to pray just as earnestly that one day they will.

That one day they will understand that Someone obeyed perfectly for all the times they did not.

That Someone never showed disrespect to His Mommy, was unkind to His sister, and He always obeyed the first time.

My children need rules. They need to understand there are consequences for sinful actions. They need the Law.

Because it is the Law that drives us to grace (Gal 3:24).

Generally speaking, the Law is when Scripture says “Do,” and the Gospel is when Scripture says “Done.”

It is the Law that shows me my failure, my selfishness, and my inability to love God from a pure heart.

It is the Law that drives me to the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ.

And it is the Law, as I stand on grace, that helps me to become more like Christ.

I obey the Law because my heart and soul believe the Gospel.

Without the Law, I wouldn’t understand how beautiful the Good News is.

We used to sing a song in Sunday School growing up,

Good News! Good News! 

Christ died for me,

Good News! Good News! 

If I believe,

Good News! Good News!

I’m saved eternally,

That’s wonderful, extra, Good News!

Tomorrow, I will teach my children to obey. I will tell them what the Bible says is right and wrong. But then I will share the Gospel with them.

And even in the hardest of moments, that’s wonderful, extra, good news.

Top photo courtesy of my dear friend, Amy Grimme.

I love the newest baby and kid gadgets.

The BOB double jogger is literally like an extra limb for me. I have no idea what I’d do without it.

The Joovy stroller is great for in and out of small stores and restaurants.

The Moby wrap was a part of every single outfit I wore for the first four months of each of my daughters’ lives.

The Ergo was a lifesaver when my babies outgrew the Moby.

The bassinet was a blessing.

The baby swing was a “sleep giver” for my first child and for me during her first few months of life.

We just got a trundle bed and I’m amazed at what an ingenious invention it is for small rooms.

We are planning on buying  a minivan for our next vehicle purchase. Have you driven one? They are the most amazing things. Ever. Double sliding doors. A Mary Poppins style trunk. Cup-holders in all the right places.

Amazing.

However, as much as I love the latest and greatest mothering inventions, I never want to overly rely on them or ever fall into the dangerous trap of believing that having them makes me a better mother.

I can be tempted to sometimes think, Wow if I just had ….. (fill in the blank), my life would be so much easier! If I had that, I would be a better mother! 

It is true, I am so thankful for many things I have that make my life much easier. My great grandmother and grandmother would have loved many of the gadgets I’m blessed to have.

My great grandmother had to tie her toddlers to the leg of a four poster bed to keep them from wandering off and getting hurt when she needed to complete a task. She didn’t have Bumbos or exersaucers or vibrating bouncy seats.

My grandmother had to set her babies in laundry baskets in the back seat of their car until the carseat was invented.

And for most of my grandmothers, cloth diapers weren’t merely an “eco friendly” or economical option. They had no choice. Cloth diapers it was.

If you’ve talked to your grandma or great grandma about what it was like raising little ones in her day, you’ve maybe been surprised like I was at just how very different things were “back then” than they are today.

Even my mom will sometimes say, “Wow, sure wish they had that around when I was raising y’all.”

I come from a line of strong women. And it had nothing to do with what they had or didn’t have (though they surely knew how to work hard).

There was so much they went without and they were no less wonderful mothers because of it.

And I often remind myself that I am no better a mother for it.

Yes, it does make life easier. And for the most part, safer too. We should be very thankful we don’t have to use a washboard to wash our clothes and hang them to dry every day like our great grandmothers did.

But I am not defined by how much (or for some, how little) things I have or don’t have.

The minivan (which I actually do embrace with all it’s mothering glory) won’t ever define me.

These things help me as a mother. They do not make me as a mother.

God has given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

He’s even provided exactly what I need materially to function well. He knows what I need and what I don’t need, and He has graciously provided.

There’s a verse I love that my sister-in-law, Chesed, reminded me of a couple years back and I loved how she related it to mothering:

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” -Psalm 20:7

When David wrote this Psalm, he was referring to the military equipment needed to fight in battle. Chariots and horses were essential to fight and defeat armies.

But King David made very clear that while he used horses and chariots to fight, he didn’t put his trust in them. There’s a big difference. He utilized them. But He trusted in his Savior, the One who is “love” and “justice” and “righteousness” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

Jeremiah 9 also says:

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understand and knows Me (vs 23).

All the things God has blessed me with as a mother, whether they be material things like trundle beds or bassinets or an awesome jogging stroller. These are tools. But they are not where my trust lies. My trust doesn’t lie in my mothering intuition, my stylish SUV (if I had one), or how put together (or not put together) I am.

My trust lies in Him.

He is the One who made the women I admire strong.

I want to always, always remind myself when I am tempted to rely on my own strength, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but I trust in the name of the Lord my God!”

Nations rise and fall. Gadgets are made and recalled. My wisdom wins and sometimes it miserably fails.

But there is One who is always there. And when I trust in Him, I rise and stand upright (Psalm 20:8).

And that’s something no minivan could ever do.