I wrote this several days ago on a rainy afternoon…
It was Friday, two days before AudreyKate’s second birthday. As I got her ready for bed that evening, I noticed she felt a little warm. I took her temperature, and sure enough, she was running a fever. I gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed, hoping she’d sleep off whatever it was her little body was fighting. The next morning, she was not any better, only worse. Later that afternoon, Grant and I went on a hunt for a clinic since our pediatrician’s office was closed for the weekend. It had been a very busy week, and Grant and I had planned on spending Saturday afternoon hanging out together. After getting turned away from the first clinic we tried because AudreyKate was under the age of two (she was ONE day shy of turning two!), we finally found a Walgreens clinic. AudreyKate cried hysterically as the doctor checked her ears and throat. The doctor told us that AudreyKate had a double ear infection and a sore throat, and sent us home with an antibiotic. Once Grant and I got both the girls to bed that evening, we sat down and sighed. This was not what we had planned for our Saturday. I didn’t know it at the moment, but the whole weekend would be a very sleepless one for me as I spent hours rocking, singing, and snuggling with my toddler who was even too sick to eat her birthday cake.
Life is made up of these kinds of moments, and motherhood is filled with them. Moments when things do not go as planned or as expected. Sometimes it’s a small thing like an ear infection, while other times its something much more serious. Maybe its dealing with disappointment over something that we hoped and prayed would happen, but instead God closes the door. These are moments where discouragement can loom big and joyfulness seems far off.
I am currently taking a class for seminary wives at Southern Seminary, and my professor, Dr. Plummer, recently said, “The things we often think are holding us back are pushing us forward.” He was speaking in regards to our spiritual lives. Sometimes we think if that “one thing” would just go away or be solved, we would be able to follow the Lord more fully or be set free from worrying over it. But, it is often that “one thing” God is using in our lives to push us forward spiritually and help us become more rooted in His Word. It is in the midst of difficulties, that we often find God’s Word so real to us its as if we can taste it. Psalm 34:8 says, “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good, how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Through His Word, God reminds us of His faithfulness and assures us that He is working out all things for our good and His glory. We need only to take refuge in Him. When we accept His will for our lives instead of our own, we find that instead of withering up under the weight of trials, we flourish.
This morning, I found myself driving to the pediatrician’s office once again. AudreyKate started running a fever yesterday, and I knew that she must have another ear infection. This will be her fourth one since Christmas Eve. It was pouring rain, and as I drove, the song, “As Long As You Are Glorified” started playing on my Pandora station. As the wipers vigorously fought the rain off the windshield, I could not think of a more appropriate song to meditate on: “Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings, yet not welcome any pain? Shall I thank You for days of sunshine, yet grumble in days of rain?” It’s easy to wish for the sun when the raindrops are falling, but I always want to remember that God chose the rain along with the sun to cause good things to grow.